What Were They Thinking? Disney Re-Releases Snow White and Is Shocked When It Flops Again

You know those moments when someone does something so stupid, all you can do is tilt your head like a confused puppy that just heard a whistle? Well, Disney has officially re-released its live-action Snow White into U.S. cinemas. Again. Yes, that Snow White. The one that already bombed spectacularly in March. The one with CGI dwarfs that mine gems at the uncanny valley and a villain song that feels like a cursed AI cover of Let It Go. That one.

And guess what? It flopped again. Harder. I know, Shocking!

Disney's logic? Well, summer blockbuster season is upon us, Thunderbolts surprised everyone by not being terrible, and maybe—just maybe—audiences had forgotten how much they disliked Snow White the first time around. Maybe the sun was in our eyes. Maybe the Gal Gadot stans would show up this time. Or maybe Disney is just so out of touch with reality, it can't see the cold hard facts.

Let's be real—this is giving Morbin' Time energy all over again.

Remember when Sony, misreading the entire internet, put Morbius back in theaters because it was getting memed to death? "People are talking about it!" they cried. "They must love it!" They didn't. It made $289 per screen. Now, Snow White enters the chat, pulling in a whopping $252 per screen on re-release. That's not a theatrical run. That's a wake. (insert your favorite woke wake joke here).

The wildest part? This re-release happened weeks before the film is set to drop on streaming. So why push it back into theaters now? What's the logic? Morbid curiosity? Hope that the hate-watchers would unite? A last-ditch Oscar campaign for "Most CGI Per Square Inch of Forest Scene"?

Meanwhile, Revenge of the Sith—once lumped in with its clunkier prequel siblings—is out here pulling $25 million on a re-release. Because somewhere along the way, audiences finally realized what true fans knew all along: Sith slaps. It was the other two that were the problem. Turns out, if you give people time, distance, and the internet, they'll reevaluate everything—including Hayden Christensen's acting. 

Will Snow White someday find a weird fanbase that adores it for all the wrong reasons? I seriously doubt it. But the lesson here is clear: you can't force a redemption arc two months after the first act bombed. Sometimes, a movie is just bad. You know… Like Cats.