Guy Takes Woman To Skanky Saloon Bar For First Date
Finding love in this digital era is far from easy. With more websites and applications — in which we can essentially 'shop for people' — than we know what to do with, the influx leads to infinite choice, infinite possibility, and infinite encounters that are often so bizarre, they could be fictional. But by embracing the good, the bad, and the downright ugly of the online dating minefield, at least bad dates make great stories. Right?
Together with The Single Society, we are bringing you the hilarious, horrible, and awkward real-life stories from women currently navigating the world of online dating. When you're finished reading this shocking tale, check out our other true stories of modern dating debauchery.
I met Ted on…I don't know. An app. It's all the same sh*t. But it was definitely my biggest first date FAIL.
Ted was a shaggy-haired construction manager with whom I shared a similar taste in music. I sensed a slight air of toxic masculinity by the way he conducted himself via text, but I figured I would give him the benefit of the doubt.
We decided to grab a few drinks and picked a cross street for our meeting place in the epicenter of the bar scene and we would decide where to go from there.
We walked for a block or two and Ted said he wanted to stop in a 7/11 and grab a Gatorade. Considering we were in the process of choosing a place to grab a drink I found it rather odd, but whatever.
The Lotto LOSER had bought tobacco and lottery tickets!
He returned with a blue Gatorade, a pack of chewing tobacco, two lottery tickets, and a few small bills — the change from the $20 I gave him — which he put straight into his pocket.
I wasn't going to make a big deal over $20…but like…weird, right??
The first thing I noticed about this establishment, in particular, is that all of the waitresses were scantily clad women donned in short plaid skirts, knee-high socks, and midriff-bearing t-shirts with ample amounts of cleavage billowing out of their tartan brassieres.
Ted took me to a charming little place called the Tilted Kilt.
No shade to these women (I was a Hooters girl myself, once upon a time), but this seemed more like a place you would booze-up with your buddies rather than an appropriate spot for a first date.
Ted addressed the hostess by name and exchanged pleasantries.
He headed to the bar (with me lagging behind) and again, addressed both bartenders by their first names as if he were Tony Soprano making his entrance into the 'Bada Bing!'
We ordered some drinks and Ted continued conversing with the females behind the bar (and other waitresses walking by) and failed to acknowledge my presence for several minutes.
The employees would politely engage (some offering me glances of sympathy), but it was clear they had no interest in speaking to him by the blatant disingenuous smiles painted across their faces.
Ted was completely incognizant to this charade. It couldn't be more obvious they thought he was a big loser.
"I come here a lot," he revealed. "They love me here."
He loved guns and hated animals. Clearly a keeper!
Yeah, Ted. I'm sure.
For the next hour or so I sipped on my Irish Lager while Ted rambled on about everything from his gun collection, his vehement support for the right to bear arms, and how stray animals shouldn't be caught/fixed/put up for adoption, but rather be shot in order to control the population.
