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Woman Reveals Difference Between How Men and Women View Friendship

Ever drove yourself crazy not being able to understand the motives of a man? Well, you're not alone. There has to be a reason behind how basically every time a girl is nice to a guy it's perceived as flirting. And if god forbid a girl refers to him as her friend, BOOM, he's 'friend-zoned.' But, why? Can girls and guys just not be friends? Is it not okay to be around a guy, and laugh at his jokes, but not want to sleep with him?

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  • 1
    World - t7 saint lil rogue Retweeted Noob Saibot @Mommaafro_ So a woman's idea of being friends is being friends? Chef Nol @UR_SO_COOL_NOL A woman's idea of "Let just be friends" is "Hey listen to all my problems and keep me company...while I have sex with someone else." 9/14/17, 9:26 AM
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    This is the Tweet that inspired Alararogers to dive deep into the different ways men and women view relationships. She reveals her opinion on the different conditions that both genders have in mind, and how it affects their friendships as well. Now sit back, relax, and get ready for a HOT take.


  • 2
    Organism - alarajrogers Oh my God this actually explains so much. So there's a known thing in the study of human psychology/sociology/what-have-you where men are known to, on average, rely entirely on their female romantic partner for emotional support. Bonding with other men is done at a more superficial level involving fun group activities and conversations about general subjects but rarely involves actually leaning on other men or being really honest about emotional problems.
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    It's interesting to think that boys and girls have completely different strengths when it comes to friendships and romantic relationships. This is clearly just one person's opinion, but it's always cool to think about how some of the things that we find inexplicable might be psychologically driven.


  • 3
    Terrestrial plant - alarajrogers So men need to have a woman in their lives to have anyone they can share their emotional needs and vulnerabilities with. However, siņce women are not socialized to fear sharing these things, women's friendships with other women are heavily based on emotional support. If you can't lean on her when you're weak, she's not your friend. To women, what friendship is is someone who listens to all your problems and keeps you company.
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  • 4
    Organism - alarajrogers So this disconnect men are suffering from is that they think that only a person who is having sex with you will share their emotions and expect support. That's what a romantic partner does. But women think that's what a friend does. So women do it for their romantic partners and their friends and expect a male friend to do it for them the same as a female friend would. This fools the male friend into thinking there must be something romantic there when there is not. ·...
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  • 5
    Organism - alarajrogers This here is an example of patriarchy hurting everyone. Women have a much healthier approach to emotional support – they don't die when widowed at nearly the rate that widowers die and they don't suffer emotionally from divorce nearly as much even though they suffer much more financially, and this is because women don't put all their emotional needs on one person.
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  • 6
    Organism - alarajrogers Women have a support network of other women. But men are trained to never share their emotions except with their wife or girlfriend because that isn't manly. So when she dies or leaves them, they have no one to turn to to help with the grief, causing higher rates of death, depression, alcoholism, and general awfulness upon losing a romantic partner. ..... ....
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  • 7
    Font - alarajrogers So men suffer terribly from being trained in this way. But women suffer in that they can't reach out to male friends for basic friendship. I am not sure any man can comprehend how heartbreaking it is to realize that a guy you thought was your friend was really just trying to get into your pants. Friendship is real. It's emotional, it's important to us. We lean on our friends.
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  • 8
    World - alarajrogers Knowing that your friend was secretly seething with resentment when you were opening up to him and sharing your problems because he felt like he shouldn't have to do that kind of emotional work for anyone not having sex with him, and he felt used by you for that reason, is horrible.
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  • 9
    World - alarajrogers And the fact that men can't share emotional needs with other men means that lots of men who can't get a girlfriend end up turning into horrible misogynistic people who think the world owes them the love of a woman like it's a commodity... because no one will die without sex.
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  • 10
    Font - alarajrogers Masturbation exists. But people will die or suffer deep emotional trauma from having no one they can lean on emotionally. And men who are suffering deep emotional trauma, and have been trained to channel their personal trauma into rage because they can't share it, become mass shooters, or rapists, or simply horrible misogynists. ......
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  • 11
    World - alarajrogers The only way to fix this is to teach boys it's okay to love your friends. Itť's okay to share your needs and your problems with your friends. It's okay to lean on your friends, to hug your friends, to be weak with your friends. Only if this is okay for boys to do with their male friends can this problem be resolved...
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  • 12
    Terrestrial plant - alarajrogers so, men, this one's on you. Women can't fix this for you; you don't listen to us about matters of what it means to be a man. Fix your own shit and teach your brothers and sons and friends that this is okay, or everyone suffers.
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