Controlling Boyfriend Demands That Equestrian GF Sell Her Horse To 'Prioritize The Relationship'

Prepare to hold yourselves back after reading the presumptuous ultimatum OP's boyfriend of 9 months gave to her. In our experience, usually, before you hit a year of dating, things are still somewhat relaxed, but you have a good idea at this point if things are headed in a serious direction or not. Regardless of whether or not things are getting serious, you are still your own independent person and you always have the right to make your own decisions. 

The controlling boyfriend that OP refers to in this post is clearly jealous of the amount of time that his girlfriend spends with her horse, and has reasonably asked her to prioritize the relationship. OP has done nothing but be accommodating to him. She has significantly reduced the hours she spends with her horse since the start of this relationship, but seeing as riding has been an important part of her life since childhood, she's clearly not willing to give that up. And we do not blame her. Listen love, men come and go, but animals can stay in your life for a long, long time. If he cannot accept you the way you are, horse lover and all, he is not worth the time of day. Kick that a$$hole to the curb and spend more time with Lady.  Buh bye. 

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  • 01
    Rectangle - Posted by u/nohorsethrow 3 days ago 23 34 S30 A 3 2 AITA for refusing to sell my horse?
    via nohorsethrow

    NO.

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  • 02
    Font - Me(24f) and my boyfriend (26) have been dating for around ~9 months. I've been riding horses since around four years old when I started taking lessons. When I was ten I started helping out this girl at the stable with her horse Lady. At 12 she told her she had to sell due to time/interest and asked if me and my parents wanted to buy Lady. Luckily for me, my parents were able to buy her and she's been mine ever since. She's my bestest friend and I love her a lot.
    via nohorsethrow

    "She's my bestest friend and I love her a lot." 

    That's all the information we needed to make a decision here! This man is trying to stop you, OP, from seeing your best friend ever. Not cool. You have been dating this guy for 9 months, but you have loved and been riding horses all of your life. Seems like you already know the answer here, OP. But we internet users are happy to provide you with a little extra reassurance that this guy needs to hit the road and yesterday. Horses > controlling men, any day. 

  • 03
    Font - When I started to date my bf I was very honest with the fact that my horse takes a lot of time and he was fine with this. When single I could spend like three to four hours a day in the stable but as we started dating I cut this down. To about three hours every other day as this is roughly how long it takes for me to do all the cleaning/preparing food/riding. Also most of my friends are at the stable which obviously means this is also social for me. The other days I would not ride and try
    via nohorsethrow

    "After about six months he told me I spent too much time at the stable and I should prioritise my relationship more and somehow his family got involved and saying it was strange to prioritize the way I did. I wasn't comfortable with this but I am a bit of a pushover so I agreed."

    And just what business does his family have poking into your relationship? This guy has red flags all over him, dripping out of his pockets. Yikes. 

  • 04
    Font - At first this meant cutting down time at the stable but it has evolved into cutting down riding days. Now I ride about two days a week and the rest I'm simply there to do the basics. All of this as quickly as I can because otherwise I know he'll be annoyed and pissed of for days and give me the silent treatment. I know my horse isn't really suffering from not being ridden as often as before but I still feel very guilty that I'm always rushing around her.
    via nohorsethrow
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  • 05
    Font - Then last night he told me it was time to sell Lady. I laughed at him and asked if he was serious. He was. I told him no and he said I needed to start prioritizing this relationship more and I said I've done nothing but prioritize this relationship. We argued about it and he apparently thinks I can just put her down as she's old anyways. I was furious at this and told him that was absolutely not happening and I would never sell her. He said that any reasonable person would sell or put dow
    via nohorsethrow
  • 06
    Font - So I come to you, reasonable people of Reddit, AITA? Edit: So I never expected this to get as much attention as it did. I'm very overwhelmed and thankful for all your kind comments and messages. I am currently sitting with Lady in her stable crying my eyes out because this has been such a wake-up call for me. My boyfriend left to visit his family and friends in his old town earlier today before I posted so for everyone worried: all is well for now and I will handle this asap. First I need
    via nohorsethrow
  • 07
    Rectangle - justsippingteahere · 3 days ago 4 & 73 More Asshole Aficionado [12] Holy NTA- you're BF sounds controlling AF. You've worked hard to compromise with him but he keeps moving the line until he eventually gets everything he wants and you have sacrificed everything important to you. A lot of abusive partners start the cycle by trying to isolate their partner. You have a whole support network at the barn and he wants you to give all that up in addition to your horse who is like a member o
    via justsippingteahere
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  • 08
    Font - reluctantdragon - 3 days ago He sees something you love and wants to take it away from you :( That should be enough right there to warrent a red flag but I really love this comment about the support system! Keep them around you and Leave him! So many red flags 10.5k Share ...
    via reluctantdragon
  • 09
    Font - blixxic · 3 days ago Yup! Think of just how much happier you'd be if you had a boyfriend who shared your love for horses. Your bf doesn't love you the way you are. He's trying to change you. Don't let him! Stay who you are and do what you love doing. Your relationship should not get in the way of it. 1.6k Share ...
    via blixxic
  • 10
    Font - kraiva · 3 days ago Plus most of her friends are at the stable. She's already cut down her socialization time with her other friends in order to spend more time with him and now he wants to get rid of any reason for her to go to the stable at all. That's classic isolation. NTA, keep your horse. Your friends probably miss riding with you. Time for your bf to compromise or get out. 3.9k Share ...
    via kraiva
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  • 11
    Font - KaliTheBlaze · 3 days ago 9 & 7 More Asshole Aficionado [15] NTA. Slowly escalating demands that you give up your hobbies and things you care about is a classic abuse tactic. Making you feel guilty about the way you spend your time, especially when you've always spent your time that way, is a classic abuse tactic. Trying to force you go get rid of people or animals you care about is a classic abuse tactic. I'm starting to sound like a broken record here, but best you get out while that's
    via KaliTheBlaze

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