Clingy BF Offended When GF Of 6 Months Refers To Her Puppy As 'Mine' Instead Of 'Ours'

Coexisting with your significant other can have difficulties and unpleasant situations, such is relevant to any relationship. However, boundaries tend to be a bit different and more ambiguous when sharing major responsibilities with a significant other as opposed to a friend. On today's episode of 'clingy boyfriend tries to manipulate his way into a more central role in his girlfriend's life' we have a pretty significant misunderstanding that contributed towards an especially unpleasant conversation between OP and her boyfriend. 

First of all, dogs are a BIG commitment. Especially when one gets one as a puppy. Doggos have an average lifespan of 10-15 years, this couple has been together for 7 months. Why does this clingy BF, who by the way does not contribute financially to the dog, think that he can call claim to the puppy that his girlfriend has been on a waitlist for since they started dating? We confess that things could have been handled better by OP who did play along at first with her boyfriend's referring to the puppy as both of theirs, but that does not excuse this boyfriend's dramatic reaction when OP attempts to explain why the puppy being 'hers' is so important to her. 

 

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  • 01
    Font - AITA for telling my boyfriend that my puppy is mine and not his?
    via 1D barcode

    NOPE.

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  • 02
    Font - My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months now. Last month I bought a puppy and my BF and I took a road trip to pick the puppy up. Early on my BF told me he felt excluded since I would refer to the puppy as "mine" and not "ours". Note that I paid for the trip, the puppy, vet expenses, food etc and it wasn't ever talked about that we would get a puppy together. However I started referring to the puppy as "ours" because it was important to him.
    via 1D barcode

    "Early on my BF told me he felt excluded since I would refer to the puppy as 'mine' and not 'ours'. Note that I paid for the trip, the puppy, vet expenses, food etc and it wasn't ever talked about that we would get a puppy together. However I started referring to the puppy as 'ours' because it was important to him."

    We think that this was your first mistake OP. Instead of playing along with your boyfriend for the sake of not hurting his feelings, it would have probably been preferable to have just had the difficult conversation with him from the get-go. That way the expectations would have been more clear to him. Though we are not excusing his toxic behavior, we do think that steps could have been taken to prevent or at least minimize it. 

  • 03
    Font - I've now had the puppy for a month and a half and in passing conversation I said "my puppy". My BF asked that when I talk to him about the puppy that I always refer to it as "ours". I said no, that I didn't want to have to always have to say "ours".
    via 1D barcode
  • 04
    Font - This ended up in a big argument. Him asking why I wouldn't say "ours" all the time and me saying no and asking why it was so important to him. I told him he was acting possessive and that it shouldn't matter whether I say "mine" or "ours" in casual conversation.
    via 1D barcode
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  • 05
    Font - After thinking it over I decided to set a boundary and explain to my BF that the puppy was my dog but that he was absolutely an important part in the puppy's life and that it didn't change anything. However I didn't like the possessiveness so I wanted to be clear about it with him.
    via 1D barcode

    "After thinking it over I decided to set a boundary and explain to my BF that the puppy was my dog but that he was absolutely an important part in the puppy's life and that it didn't change anything. However I didn't like the possessiveness so I wanted to be clear about it with him." 

    We agree that this was the right move, OP! This talk had to happen sooner or later, so why not sooner?

  • 06
    Font - My BF says that he feels like I've lied to him the entire time about the puppy and he just wants to be involved and included. I've said he can still be involved and included without needing the possessive title. He is now saying that he won't bond with the puppy because " what's the point, he's not mine. He's your dog and will never be mine"
    via 1D barcode
  • 07
    Font - My mom agreed with me that unless we are living together or married that the dog shouldn't be considered "ours" I know my BF would pay for half of my puppy's care and bills, but I don't think it's appropriate for the relationship at this point and prefer to keep it separate and my sole responsibility until we're we're living together and sharing all expenses, not just the dog's. Am I the asshole?
    via 1D barcode
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  • 08
    Font - edit • we don't live together • I have been on the wait-list for this puppy long before we started dating
    via 1D barcode
  • 09
    Facial expression - Ok-Title-2511· 7 hr. ago · edited 4 hr. ago NTA - and I have some concerns around your boyfriend's behaviour. 2.0k Reply Share
    via Ok-Title-2511·
  • 10
    Font - SimplySam4210 · 7 hr. ago Professor Emeritass [84] NTA. Unless you are living together, both training the puppy, sharing expenses, it's not "ours".
    via SimplySam4210
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  • 11
    Font - tosser9212 :7 hr. ago Partassipant [1] NTA. Sounds to me like you have a keeper. The puppy, that is.
    via tosser9212
  • 12
    Font - lolalovesleos ·7 hr. ago NTA- your boyfriend is clingy, emotionally manipulative, and immature. All red flags, run! It may seem like a dumb fight now, but it's just so foolish for him to be worked up over this and I'd take that as a sign to get outta there!
    via lolalovesleos

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boyfriend dogs aita adorable thread puppy offended puppies cute relationships girlfriend reddit thread Reddit clingy
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