'There's the rest of his nut hair!': Heroic railroad inspector saves an unlucky raccoon, frozen to the tracks by his private parts in subzero temperatures

This story has some serious Joe Dirt energy

Posted by Jesse Kessenheimer

There are some stories online that are just too outrageous to believe unless there's video evidence. Well, one lucky raccoon broke the Internet with his tall tale of survival, sending viewers into a tizzy over his rescuer as well as his extremely unfortunate circumstances. One man named Neil Mullis, an average Georgia man who was minding his own business when he came across a baby raccoon that was seriously down on his luck.

u/neilmullis13

Neil was inspecting railroad tracks one cold, wintery evening and spotted a strange and heartbreaking sight. In minus 12 degree weather (-24C), a sorry little raccoon had attempted to mount the rails to cross and got his wet little underside frozen to the iron bar. Not knowing how long this little critter had been frozen to the tracks, Neil approached with caution, hoping to save the miserable critter from his untimely demise. Fortunately for the raccoon, Neil was there to save the day!

“Little bastard's nuts froze to the rail”

With a bucket of warm water and a shovel, Neil melted the poor fella off of the railroad track. Leaving behind a wad of bum hair and a unbelievable story for the ages. On his TikTok, Neil claimed the 'operation' was a success, showing the fur-ball stuck to the rail and sharing his excitement over saving this baby raccoon from his own ballsack.

"After about five minutes of slowly working him loose, he was free. He jumped off the rail and ran in the woods never looking back”.

Neil's video went viral, gaining the notoriety it deserved for how outrageous the story was. Followers commented on the video, surprised for the raccoon's luck and laughing at the absurdity of Neil's role in saving a wild raccoon from certain demise. Hilariously, a lot of people were more concerned with the bald state of this raccoon's backside after the incident, certain that Neil must have been bitten or attacked by the raccoon for ripping the hairs off it's rear end.

“He didn't wanna get hit by a train as much as I didn't wanna get bit, so he let me pour some warm water by his leg.”

Fortunately for Neil, the grateful animal was just happy to be rescued (and probably half frozen), so he came away from the situation unscathed. The raccoon was simply happy to be rescued and didn't feel the need to bite or scratch his savior. This little critter lives to scamper another day, while Neil has the best bar story to tell for the rest of his life.