AITA: 'UNFAIR': Wealthy father stops bankrolling the college fund of his frivolous son, favoring his financially responsible daughter instead

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    Human body - Posted by u/throwRA_saveyodalla 1 day ago AITA for "showing favoritism for my daughter and financially hurting my son"?
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    Plant - My ex-wife 36f and I 36m have been divorced for 7 years now. We have twins, both 17(F,M). My wife and I are the stereotype of high school sweethearts. I'm more of a geek. She was a cheer leader. My son takes after my wife and my daughter take after me.
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    Font - When they were younger, I gave them the option of allowance. They could either spend the money on what they wanted to or I could walk them through investments and savings. My wife was all for this at that time.
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    Organism - We explained that they each have a set amount of money that we have put away for future schooling as well as a car fund. At first, both of my kids decided to invest it, and I started to show them how to and the risk involved. My son put his in to a very risky investment(against my advice) and ended up losing it and decided not to do it anymore(with in a few weeks).
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    Font - My daughter started off rough but quickly got the hang of it. Playing with different investments and companies. She has been in the positive most weeks.
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    Font - The issue is that due to this, my daughter has saved up more money than her brother. She also likes to spend most of her time over at my house vs my son over at my ex-wife's house
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    Font - My daughter's interests are more minimalistic when it comes to most things and does not spend a lot of money. She will when she finds things she likes. She is not into fashion, rarely puts on makeup (when she does, it is very light), bought a used but nice car, etc.
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    Plant - They just got their acceptance letters for college, and she will be able to pic any of her choices due to grades and her savings plus our contributions.
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    Human body - My son, on the other hand, spends most of his money when he gets it.
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    Font - Always has new clothes constantly (bunch of shoes), bought a new, very expensive car with payments, goes out all the time, and spends everything he gets. My son is upset because he can't go to the collage he wants because he would need to get a loan, and with what I make, he doesn't qualify for much.
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    Font - My ex says I need to stop favoring my daughter and financially hurting my son and just paying for his college. Among other things. Her and her side of the family are all calling me an AH for not paying "because you easily could."
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    Font - I told them that they had a choice when he was younger and he didn't listen. I also pointed out the fact that if he had saved his money, he would have also been able to go where he wanted. He needed to get a job to cover costs if he wanted to go. And life was about choices.
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    Font - TLDR: My daughter is more like me (a geek). My son is like my ex-wife (popular and materialistic). Gave them an allowance and the opportunity to invest and save. Only my daughter did, and now my son and family are mad that I'm not giving him more money and favoring my daughter.
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    Font - TLDR: My daughter is more like me (a geek). My son is like my ex-wife (popular and materialistic). Gave them an allowance and the opportunity to invest and save. Only my daughter did, and now my son and family are mad that I'm not giving him more money and favoring my daughter.
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    Font - Early ETA: I did keep asking him to try again throughout the years. But he didn't care. I gave up almost two years ago when he said he wanted to live almost full time at his moms house. We had an argument that made me back off. I didn't just stop and drop it when he was really young.
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    Font - EDIT 2: We did not give him his college fund. He has enough money in his college fund that he can attend a community college for 4 years or a good college for 2. Nothing fancy or big.
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    Font - The money that was invested was allowance. Or spare money. My daughter would use b day money, Christmas money, allowance, or any extra chore money.
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    Font - His fund was never used in any way other than for school. It is safe and locked up. Allowance was free to use money. The school and car fund were separate and not accessible by the kids.
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    Human body - Im not bragging, but I could send them to the best colleges for as many years as they want. And fund their life's comfortably.
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    Font - starchy2ber 21 hr. ago S Certified Proctologist [28] OP says he can easily pay for both kids' college in full. So why doesn't he just do this for both and let his daughter keep the money she's saved up? Daughter will probably always have more she's brighter and works harder. If son wants to be upset about that so be it.
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    Font - OP is still not TA for not giving his son more JUST to be even with his sister who did the smarter and more mature thing.
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    Human body - Acrobatic-Bit4846 1 day ago The son already has a college fund....he just wants to go to a college outside of his budget. Why are y'all acting like OP isn't helping at all???
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    Font - Better Cupcake_7913 1 day ago I agree, but only if he gives his daughter the same amount. It's unfair that she saved up all her life only to have to use all the money on college... when meanwhile, her brother spent his on fun stuff and still gets college paid for.
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    Font - Expensive-Safe-5216 1 day ago. edited 1 day ago Partassipant [1] Eta: YTA I doubt this will be a popular opinion, but I think you're TA in general. Right now you have a choice of helping your kid get a start on his adult life and you're using it to make some sort of ideological point instead of helping him.
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    Font - Competitive_Parking_. 1 day ago Problem with that in son's mind it will never be equal If dad gives both same amount again he will say daughter is getting more. Cause she has more at the end.
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    Font - JennaMree 23 hr. ago edited 21 hr. ago He is! They both have college funds. She just has more to go to any school she wants regardless of price. She is covering the difference out of her own savings, which coincidentally was also money given to her by OP. Son wants allowance + college fund + car fund + MORE COLLEGE MONEY.

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