‘You have to console me for cheating on you’: When a Man’s Emotional Affair Must End, He Demands Comfort From His Wife For His Loss

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Feb 5, 2024 4:00 PM EST

Welcome back internet enthusiasts. We're heading strong into February. Let's talk about the new and trending topics for 2024 – narcissism. Narcissist seems to be the big buzzword nomenclature for anyone we don't like or who treats us poorly. But what is a narcissist? In general, it's a mental condition where the individual lacks normal empathy for others, and has an abnormally high importance and regard of oneself. They may lack the ability to understand how they hurt and affect other people, and need more than normal comforting for their own pain. Now, someone could have narcissistic qualities or behaviors and not be a full-blown narcissist. But is it better? And why in 2024 do we see these characteristics so often among modern relationships?

We may never know the real answer, nor does it really matter. The point is that we can always grow and learn from our experiences, and understand our self-worth through the bad times and bad people. Even if you've been intimate with a narcissist, it doesn't mean you deserve it, and it also doesn't mean you can't laugh about it.

Add as a preferred
source on Google
Advertisement
  • 01
    Posted by u/Dry_Ground6353 13 hours ago AITA for not consoling my partner after he broke up with his emotional affair?
    via u/Dry_Ground6353
  • 02
    Me f30 and my partner m31 of 10 years have been very bad at communicating our needs and he has had huge commitment issues I haven't seen. We have 2 kids (3 and 1 year old). After my second child I have had post natal depression without being aware of it and have emotional
    via u/Dry_Ground6353
  • 03
    become distant to my partner. We have talked about this and I said this is now and when the baby is more independent we will have more time for each other again. We were still intimate and I didn't realise it was that big of a deal. He hasn't been happy in our relationship for a while (which I didn't see) and started an
    via u/Dry_Ground6353
  • 04
    emotional affair with my best friend (f32) his best friend's (m45) girlfriend. They planned to get together and he planned to leave me with the kids. When he told me (after about 4 weeks of very intense messaging between them),I thought that that affair can't be that meaningful as it's been
    via u/Dry_Ground6353
  • 05
    going on for such a short time and we decided we wanted to fix things and he finally told me what was bothering him and I also opened up. I was really upset and it was a rough time especially while being kind of a single mum to two little kids. The emotional affair didn't end as I was told though, they never really
    via u/Dry_Ground6353
  • 06
    stopped talking until about 3 months later. His affair partner didn't tell her boyfriend until recently and hasn't told him the whole truth. They are still a couple. During that time I was moving back with my mum for a bit (to a different country) to give him space to figure himself out (his commitment
    via u/Dry_Ground6353
  • 07
    issues come from unresolved childhood trauma). He started therapy. We are back to living together and being coparents, best friends and a somewhat undefined couple. So now he finally decided to end things completely with his affair partner and also his best friend, changing numbers and all. They have toned it down
    via u/Dry_Ground6353
  • 08
    for a bit, he also realised she is a sociopath and also has a lot of issues. He also realised that the kids are more important to him than any woman ever will be and is a great dad at the moment. However, he is now devastated and wants sympathy for not having his affair partner as his closest
    via u/Dry_Ground6353
  • 09
    affair partner as his closest friend. I am not willing to have him complain about this to me as it still hurts. He also doesn't want to commit to ,,an us" right now either, I understand this and I am willing to give him the time he need. But I am not there for him to tell me how this is the hardest decision he's ever made.
    via u/Dry_Ground6353
  • 10
    asdf33320 NTA. Stop making excuses for him. Crappy childhood? PPD, emotional 12 hr. ago distance on your part?He's an adult, a parent of his own children. He's responsible for his
    via u/asdf33320
  • 11
    behaviour. He realized that she is a sociopath? Tell me more.. As usual, I'd doubt this affair was just emotional and lasted only few weeks (planning to abandon you and his children). He was
    via u/asdf33320
  • 12
    not committed to you and your children, he's not committed now and he will never commit. I suggest you do not call him your best friend - do you think any friend should treat you like
    via u/asdf33320
  • 13
    this? It wasn't clear who is/was whose best friend (older M and the F affair partner). You certainly don't owe him sympathy or empathy. Remember what he was doing and what
    via u/asdf33320
  • 14
    he was planning to do for the future of your family. Current parenting efforts = kinda love bombing by proxy.
    via u/asdf33320
  • 15
    Electronic-Disk6632 10 hr. ago lol this is reddit, making excuses for people being is what we do.
    via u/Electronic-Disk6632
  • 16
    tranceorange91 · 9 hr. ago Yep. Rolled my eyes at all the "childhood trauma" section. come ON. As women we have to do better and expect more for ourselves.
    via u/tranceorange91
  • 17
    Mountainbish5798 · 12 hr. ago NTA. You should think about what this situation is doing to your children. Watching their father treat their mother this way is bound to do some damage. Staying in a situation with someone who can't commit to you
    via u/Mountainbish5798
  • 18
    is just a long road of agony. You're already a single mom. Eliminate this source of stress from your life and just go.
    via u/Mountainbish5798
  • 19
    Dry_Ground6353 OP. 12 hr. ago It's two girls too and I don't want to be seen as some weak woman who would just look past behaviour like this. And I don't want them to thinks that's ok to do.
    via u/Dry_Ground6353
  • 20
    mela_99 11 hr. ago No offense OP but that's exactly what you're doing. I saw how my father treated my mother, what she had to do, and what she had to put up with.
    via u/mela_99
  • 21
    I had to deal with a lot of toxic relationships because I thought that's what I was supposed to do.
    via u/mela_99
  • 22
    Vivzxxx1001 · 11 hr. ago Judging by the comments you're making in attempt to justify his actions that sounds like exactly what you're portraying right now. This man was
    via u/Vivzxxx1001
  • 23
    willing to throw away everything with you and his kids a few months ago and here you are, making excuses for him. He even had the audacity to expect you to feel sympathy for him,
    via u/Vivzxxx1001
  • 24
    because he was breaking up with his other girlfriend. “He doesn't want to commit to us right now". He clearly doesn't like you nor does he respect you. He will not change. But saying this
    via u/Vivzxxx1001
  • 25
    won't do much, since you're bent that he's a good person and he has changed.
    via u/Vivzxxx1001
  • 26
    Dry Ground6353 OP 11 hr. ago No I am not 100% convinced of course. Seeing everyone here saying he won't change is eye opening in a sense.
    via u/Dry Ground6353
  • 27
    Vivzxxx1001. 11 hr. ago Why do you want to be with someone that cheats on you and isn't sure of you? I don't know you, but what I do know is that you
    via u/Vivzxxx1001
  • 28
    can do better than this. There's somebody out there that's gonna choose you without hesitation and love you the way you deserve to be loved. There's no reason to be tolerating
    via u/Vivzxxx1001
  • 29
    this. Also, your best friend is a , for doing this to you.
    via u/Vivzxxx1001
  • 30
    Dry_Ground6353 OP. 10 hr. ago Thank you, my self esteem took a big hit, even though I know that logically, this has nothing to do with me as a person that he couldn't commit
    via u/Dry_Ground6353
  • 31
    Vivzxxx1001. 10 hr. ago Nah, this isn't your fault. He's just a piece of . Don't ever make yourself believe that you did anything to deserve this.
    via u/Vivzxxx1001
  • 32
    TNC 123 10 hr. ago. edited 10 hr. ago I have been exactly where you are with a very similar story except we were married. We aren't married anymore. I am telling you now, GET OUT. He will not change and you will
    via u/TNC_123
  • 33
    waste the best years of your life on a man who you will always worry about and wonder in the back of your mind if he is cheating. This isn't about you, these are his issues. It'll be hard in the
    via u/TNC_123
  • 34
    beginning, it always is but you're stronger than you know. ETA: He didn't even have the "decency" to cheat on you with a random woman, it was your best friend. This man does not love you the way you
    via u/TNC_123
  • 35
    deserve to be loved. He won't "commit" to you because he doesn't have to. He's got a pass to continue doing what he wants to do and his excuse will be that y'all aren't committed.
    via u/TNC_123

Tags

family drama hilarious drama audacity affair clueless relationships lol cheating love reddit thread red flag Reddit funny dating
Scroll Down For The Next Article