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14 Tweets That Prove Kids Can Be Ruthless, Insult-Spewing Savages

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  • 1
    Text - James Breakwell @XplodingUnicorn Me: Someday, you'll have feelings for boys. 6-year-old: I already have feelings for them. Me: Really? 6: They make me mad. RETWEETS LIKES 2,988 7,342 11:15 AM - 25 Aug 2016
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  • 2
    Text - DaddyJew @DaddyJew 5: daddy can I tell you a secret? Me: sure thing buddy 5: *grabs my face and whispers* I just pooped and I didn't wash my hands RETWEETS LIKES 938 1,642 4:29 PM -9 Jun 2015
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  • 3
    Text - Mike Hogan @MHoganSays 3YO son: "Why are you 45?" Me: "Because that's just how old I am." 3YO: "Is that the last number? Because that's a lot." RETWEETS LIKES 48 6:11 AM -21 Nov 2016
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  • 4
    Text - JennyPentland @JennyPentland I was arguing with my husband and my son screamed "yay! TWO christmases!" from the other room. RETWEETS LIKES 10,552 2,046 2:11 AM -6 May 2017
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  • 5
    Text - James Breakwell @XplodingUnicorn 6-year-old: Don't do that on my head! 4-year-old: I'll fart where I want! I'm raising ladies. RETWEETS LIKES н 689 4,294 5:30 PM -15 Aug 2016
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  • 6
    Text - James Breakwell @XplodingUnicorn 4-year-old: Can we get a kittern? Me: I'm allergic. We can't be in the same house. 4: You could sleep outside. RETWEETS LIKES 1,031 4,114 8:50 AM-25 Aug 2016
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  • 7
    Transport - Shia LaWeak @CallMeHuss This kid asked me for some skittles but I had just finished them so he stared at me like this the entire flight 30,000 Bon CRMCANO RETWEETS LIKES AZ 118,635 131,468 12:55 PM-3 Sep 2015
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  • 8
    Text - Jim Gaffigan @JimGaffigan Me to my son: You remind me of me. Son: That's just mean. RETWEETS LIKES 485 2,519 11:30 AM 16 Aug 2016
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  • 9
    Text - Ashley Austrew @ashleyaustrew 4: What did I earn for being good today? Me: My love and affection. 4: [cries] I don't want that! LIKES RETWEETS 89 198 2:57 PM 1 May 2016
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  • 10
    Text - Lurkin' Mom @LurkAtHomeMom Me: We all make mistakes. 5: Even you? Мe: Yep 5: Oh yeah! Like when you're trying to cook food that tastes good but then it doesn't? RETWEETS LIKES 131 255 4:56 AM 15 Apr 2016
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  • 11
    Text - SardonicTart @SardonicTart 10: Mom what's a metaphor? Me: My life is a train wreck 10: I know Mom, but what is a metaphor? RETWEETS LIKES 1,957 3,053 6:28 PM - 11 Dec 2014
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  • 12
    Text - Brian Sack @brian_sack My 11-year old's birthday card to me. #blessed Stort Lites a woterSlide where you fie at the end.. er You are here RETWEETS LIKES 93,761 132,439 5:39 PM 4 Oct 2015
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  • 13
    Text - Kathy Cooperman @Kathy_Cooperman Me: "Sweetie, what do you say when you do something wrong?" 4yo: "I didn't do that!" RETWEETS LIKES 38 101 8:50 AM - 4 Apr 2016 from Mammoth Lakes, CA
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  • 14
    Text - Tim @Playing_Dad [At dinner] Daughter: Daddy, how much of this meatball is meat? Me: Probably like 90% D: So it's 10% balls? Me: *spits out food* LIKES RETWEETS 1,499 2,126 4:39 PM 2 Jan 2016
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