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AITA for telling a childhood friend not to message me if it's to ask for money?
Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
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Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
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Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
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This is the boring truth friendships run on. Consistency matters more than crises. If contact only happens when there’s a bill due, that’s not connection, it’s collections. Sympathy isn’t the same as sponsorship, and compassion doesn’t scale just because someone else’s emergency keeps renewing. Small asks add up in money and in headspace, they convert every reply into a guilt fork between overspending, refusing, or ghosting. Boundaries aren’t a verdict on someone’s worth, they’re a decision about what a relationship is for. If the vibe is ATM, state it clearly, once, and stop negotiating with the discomfort that follows.
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No is a full sentence, and it protects both the savings account and the part of the mind that can still like a person without funding them. Friends who only arrive with needs will call limits unkind, that doesn’t make limits wrong. The clean way forward stays simple: wish well, opt out of the cash loop, and make room for relationships built on conversation that isn’t a cover charge.
‘I'm not an atm so please don't message me if you just intend on asking for money’: Childhood friend Miley reconnects only to ask for small cash “emergencies” until a clear boundary ends her demands routine
A childhood friendship gets downgraded to a cash machine when check-ins start sounding like transaction prompts, and care gets measured in $5 to $15 increments with "I'll pay you back" as the hold music. The history isn't clean or cozy: shared poverty, messy housing, stolen basics, and a break that only healed enough for small talk and small loans. Reconnection turns into a pattern where most conversations arrive with a price tag, and the dread sets in before the notification finishes buzzing. Saying no isn't cruel here, it's basic maintenance of a budget and a boundary, especially when "how are you" keeps arriving with a Venmo handle tucked behind it.
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