‘I'm not an atm so please don't message me if you just intend on asking for money’: Childhood friend Miley reconnects only to ask for small cash “emergencies” until a clear boundary ends her demands routine

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  • AITA for telling a childhood friend not to message me if it's to ask for money?

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  • For context I've know Miley since I was 7 and she was 8 we both grew up poor.
  • When I turned 18 I lived with her for a few months and paid rent to her dad but moved out because my stuff was getting stolen.
  • I moved back in with her about a year later cause my sister kicked me out of our mom's house(long story) but then got kicked out of her house because I reacted childishly after having more of my stuff stolen (things that would be stolen include food, weed, and even underwear all that I paid for).
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  • After that we stopped talking. About 2 years ago we started talking again and filled eachother in on our lives, I had gotten on my feet and landed a job that finally paid me enough to afford my own apartment and allow me to save money.
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  • After hanging out once to catch up she started asking for money always $5-$15 and the reasons would vary.
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  • At first I'd give her money, I never intended to be paid back because I know how unlikely it is but she did always insist on paying me back( she never actually did she would just insist that she would).
  • In the past 2 years we've spoken about 10 times and 6 or 7 of those times were her asking for money because of one thing or another, at one point she had a and needed a couple of bucks for a medication.
  • The other 3 or 4 times we spoke were because 1 of her exs taxted me so I asked her why he was doing that, once was because I was low on money and had reached out(she was unable to help which I understood), and the other times it was saying happy_insert holiday._
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  • In the past year we've only talked like 4 Tim's and every single time went the exact same.
  • Miley: hey, how ya been? Would you be able to give me $5-$15 because _insert her current life problem._
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  • Then I'd either say yes or no depending on my own financial situation.
  • As it went on I dreaded talking to her cause I didn't want to have to give up money or feel bad for not giving her money.
  • After the most recent time she asked for money I finally told her to stop talking to me if she was just gonna treat me like an atm.
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  • Obviously she got mad and accused me of not caring about her.
  • This was the message I sent for clarity.
  • Hey man I love ya but I'm trying to work on building my savings back up after having to drain it dealing with life sh so I can't give you any money.
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  • It also comes off like you see me as an atm when you only message me so you can ask for money.
  • I hope you're doing well in life and continue to do well but if you're only interested in talking to me if you need money I'd rather we just not talk.
  • I mean that in the nicest way possible.
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  • I'm not mad or anything and truly don't care about getting paid back.
  • It just puts me in a weird position of having to either spend money that I'm already budgeting pretty tightly, having to turn you down, or having to ignore your messages all together.
  • In the past year we've talked 4 times and every single time it's because you need money.
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  • Like I said, I truly do wish you all the best, that being said though I'm not an atm so please don't message me if you just intend on asking for money.
  • I didn't like it when Tiffany did it to me when I was 17 and I don't like it now.
  • Am I the ah le for that and for no longer really having sympathy for her since she o lying messages me when something is wrong and she needs money to fix it?
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