‘I said no, I’d like it back now’: 36-year-old lends pricey designer dress to her younger cousin, Lily, who keeps it for herself and claims being reminded it’s not hers is “embarrassing”

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  • AITA for asking my younger cousin to return the designer dress I lent her now she’s refusing and says I embarrassed her by asking?

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  • I (36F) have a designer dress (bought for an event) that I wear rarely but it's a high-end piece.
  • My cousin Lily (22F) asked to borrow it for a formal event. I agreed under the condition she return it within two weeks and cover any damages.
  • She promised and looked great. Two weeks passed, then a month, and she still hasn't returned it says she forgot a bit.
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  • When I gently asked for it, she said Oh, I felt so amazing in it that I decided to keep it for myself you'll get it when it's convenient.
  • I said no, I'd like it back now we live in the same city. She balked, said I embarrassed her by tagging her in a message, and says she's stressed right now, can't give it back today.
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  • The dress is still hers physically I just want it back. My family is now split: some say I'm harsh for pressuring her, others say she's being lazy and disrespectful.
  • AITA?
  • mistdaemon To be blunt, she is a liar and thief, and the reason why you shouldn't loan anything out. I would give her a hard deadline and then sue her in small claims court. No one should be split as it is yours and she didn't return it as promised. Take note of those who back her as those are who you really need to limit how you deal with them.
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  • Toxaris-nl You know it is damaged, right? Also, if she is in the same city, go to her place and pick it up.
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  • EconomistSpirited399 NTA. You lent her a valuable item with clear terms return after two weeks, assume damage cost. She's ignored that and is now shifting the narrative to make you the bad guy. Asking for your own property back isn't wrong. She's the one over stepped.
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  • isa_ra Yeah I don't believe this "family is torn" stuff anymore. No one is torn over an Al argument.
  • Lack-Luster685 NTA - it was borrowed, with clear conditions and not given to her. She's intentionally depriving you of it/being difficult hoping you'll give up and she can keep it. Go over to her place when you know she's there to get it back. It could be classed as theft (depending on your country's definition).
  • Borntoolate1952 Are they blowing up your phone yet?
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  • Bunnawhat13 NTA-Sorry for what ever your cousin has done to the dress. Might want to start looking into small claims court. As for your split family you can ask the ones who are so upset you pressured her if they are going to pay you for the dress.
  • mbrew13 Report it stolen. If she thinks she's embarrassed now just wait till cops come knocking on her door and arrest her. Would also sue for the full cost of the dress
  • Valgal287 I'm so sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but your dress is playing a long term game of hide and seek because most likely she's damaged it in a way that can't be covered up. I hope that's not the case and she's just lazy, but feels like the first option. She agreed to your terms, so you are definitely NOT TA.
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  • adiah54 She is being very disrespectful and she sounds very entitled. Get the dress back, and never lent her anything. Hopefully she'll learn a lesson. NTA

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