Update: 31-year-old Venmo-requests $800 from friend after being abandoned in the middle of a road trip

Everyone says they want a true friend who's open and honest with them, until they don't like the honesty that the friend is conveying. 

As much as you may love your friends, even the ones you hold nearest and dearest to your heart, you simply cannot travel with just anyone. Some friends aren't reliable enough! 

This woman is in a tough position, which she only discovered while already en-route to a wedding. She and her friend, both 31 years old, were traveling together, making a road trip out of the journey to the wedding venue. 

But this woman was getting kind of tired of hearing about her friend's unspoken crush on the groom, and she pointed it out. 

And as she quickly found out, the friend couldn't handle the truth!

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  • Woman smiles before climbing into car for a road trip.
    via Rota Alternativa

    Woman smiles before climbing into car for a road trip.

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Am I wrong for charging my friend $800 after she left me 4 hours from home?

    Becky (31F) and I (31F) have been best friends for 20 years. In high school, we became close with Ryan and Daniel, and the four of us did everything together. Becky has always been fixated on Ryan. If he
    via werminthewalls
  • liked a girl, she would tear her apart or make passive aggressive comments until it was uncomfortable. When he had girlfriends, she would openly criticize them and act like they weren't good. enough for him.
    via werminthewalls
  • Eventually, she started doing the same thing to me. She would make comments to downplay my friendship with Ryan or subtly compare us, like she needed to prove she mattered more. It felt competitive for no
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  • reason, but I ignored it for years. Fast forward to Ryan's wedding last month. Becky and I drove together and shared a hotel. The passive aggressive comments started again. She said I
    via werminthewalls
  • would not even be at the wedding if it was not for her, even saying things like that in front of other people. Later, in the hotel, she complained that Ryan did not spend enough time with her. She actually
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  • said, "Sorry to you and Daniel, but he should at least want to spend time with me." After years of this, I snapped and said, "What a weird thing to say out loud."
    via werminthewalls
  • She immediately escalated and said, "Oh what? You really think that Ryan and I aren't better friends?" and brought up that he asked her to help design the engagement ring.
    via werminthewalls
  • I said, "I don't care who's closer, but it's weird that you care this much. It's not our fault you're in love with him." She stormed out and, instead of coming back, she drove off and left me stranded four hours away with no way to get back.
    via werminthewalls
  • The next morning I couldn't rent a car because I only had a debit card, so my only option was a same day flight back to where I live across the country, which cost $800.
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  • I sent her an angry text and a Venmo request. She hasn't responded and we haven't spoken in a month. I'll admit saying she's in love with him was harsh, and the text I sent after was not my best moment.
    via werminthewalls
  • We're supposed to talk tomorrow. AITA?
    via werminthewalls

  • This whole situation is awful, and I feel so bad for this woman. 

    Like, if you're friends with someone for a long time, you're not going to get along 100% of the time. You might disagree, get into fights sometimes, maybe stop talking for a few days to cool down and apologize. 

    And yet, this woman said something really mundane that clearly set off an oversized reaction in her friend. With just a sentence, that friend deemed it a bad enough thing to say that she left her in the dust. 

    This woman clarified more about what happened next, and where she and the “friend” are at right now. 

  • Women smile and laugh while sitting in the back seat of a car together.
    via Getty Images

    Women smile and laugh while sitting in the back seat of a car together. 

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Here's the update!

    I wanted to address some common questions/comments first. 4 hours vs across the country: I'm in the US and flew from the west coast to the east coast. We wanted extra time together since we don't
    via werminthewalls
  • see each other often, so I flew into my hometown (about 4 hours from the wedding) instead of somewhere closer. "This sounds like teenager drama": Totally fair. I think that's part of why I snapped. It felt like,
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  • "are we really still doing this at 30?" It's also a sign I should've addressed this sooner. Rental car issue: I was told I couldn't use a debit card unless I had a license from that state.
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  • Otherwise, it had to be a credit card. No credit card: I had debt in my early 20s, which is long paid off, but I've avoided credit cards since. This situation made me realize I should have one for emergencies.
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  • Why not bus/train: I looked into it. Neither would've gotten me back in time for my return flight. A train home would've taken almost 3 days and cost about the same. My options were flying out of the closest airport or trying to get
    via werminthewalls
  • back to my original airport 4 hours away. Either way, I needed a same-day flight. Venmo request: I sent it out of anger. I told her later I don't expect her to pay me back.
    via werminthewalls
  • Now for the update. We had the call, and it wasn't productive. I apologized for what I said and that it was below the belt, especially the "in love with Ryan" comment. I acknowledged it was hurtful and told her I
    via werminthewalls
  • wouldn't say things like that again. I apologized for the text and Venmo request, explained they came from anger, and made it clear I don't expect her to pay me back.
    via werminthewalls
  • I explained that her comments have been a long-standing pattern I never addressed but should have. When I brought up being left stranded, she didn't acknowledge it at all and became defensive. She started crying and asked
    via werminthewalls
  • if we could "just go back to how things were." I told her I didn't think that was possible. After the call, I realized this isn't something we can come back from. I'm willing to work through a lot, especially when I
    via werminthewalls
  • have a role in things, but the lack of remorse or even acknowledgment for leaving me stranded made that clear. As many said, this hasn't been a real friendship for a while. It wasn't always like this, but over time the
    via werminthewalls
  • dynamic shifted in ways I kept overlooking or brushing off instead of addressing. I think I held onto it because of the history. During the month we didn't talk, I actually felt at peace, which says a lot.
    via werminthewalls
  • I realized that not dealing. with her behavior earlier probably contributed to it becoming a more explosive conflict than it would have been if I had addressed it sooner.
    via werminthewalls
  • I appreciate the honest feedback. I'm still sad about letting go of a friendship I cared about, but I know I'll be okay.
    via werminthewalls

  • There are a lot of things you could forgive a friend for. But this woman was totally correct in her new assessment of her “friend.” No matter how upset she was, no friend would ever abandon someone they're traveling with. That's an incredibly harsh punishment for simply being honest (one could argue she was even just stating the facts!) 

    That's not just a factor that can be overlooked. Although it'll be sad for this woman to lose a friend, she's probably gaining more than she realizes. As she notes herself, it's been much more peaceful without this friend around. Makes sense! The friend isn't even self-aware enough to realize when she has an unrequited crush on another friend. And now that she's put one of her friends in a position of helplessness, there's just no coming back from that. 

  • Friends travel on a road trip together, consulting a map for directions.
    via Getty Images

    Friends travel on a road trip together, consulting a map for directions.

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

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