Sex Tips For Good, Wholesome Christian Women

Glorify God with your vagina! Christian marriage blog To Love, Honor, and Vacuum (ED - Oxford comma added) has tips on all facets of marriage and intimacy, all from a Good Christian Perspective. They address a number of questions one might have, but our favorites are:

Is it okay for Christians to use sex toys? Answer: Nope. "Most guys aren't that big. And they can't vibrate like that. Do you really want to get reliant on something your husband can never be for an orgasm?
What's a godly form of birth control? Answer: forget condoms, just watch the calendar, you'll be fine (Edit - no you won't).
What should I do if my husband wants to be adventurous in bed? Answer: it's fine, but be careful! Getting adventurous could enable his porn addiction! (Edit - ...what?)
What to do if I'm too loose to have sex? Answer: Kegel exercises! Just be careful not to accidentally buy sex toys when you shop for kegel exercisers online! (Edit - ಠ_ಠ )
What if my husband wants sex way more than I do? Answer: Joyfully and obediently give it to him whenever he wants it! (Edit - facepalm.jpg)

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