Login
  • Cheezburger
  • Search
  • LATEST POSTS
  • Submit
FAIL Blog Channels
  • FAIL Blog
  • After 12
  • Autocowrecks
  • Dating Fails
  • FAIL Nation
  • Failbook
  • Monday Thru Friday
  • Music
  • Parenting
  • Poorly Dressed
  • School of Fail
  • There, I Fixed It
  • Ugliest Tattoos
  • WIN!
Cheezburger Channels
  • I Can Has
  • FAIL Blog
  • Memebase
  • Geek Universe
  • CheezCake
  • Loquillo
  • Know Your Meme
Cheezburger
  • I Can Has
    • I Can Has Cheezburger?
    • Animal Comedy
    • Animal Gifs
    • Cat Meme Of The Decade
    • Cats N' Kittens
    • Daily Squee
    • Doggos N' Puppers
    • I Has A Hotdog
    • Lolcats
    • Pet Passports
  • FAIL Blog
    • FAIL Blog
    • After 12
    • Autocowrecks
    • Dating Fails
    • FAIL Nation
    • Failbook
    • Monday Thru Friday
    • Music
    • Parenting
    • Poorly Dressed
    • School of Fail
    • There, I Fixed It
    • Ugliest Tattoos
    • WIN!
  • Memebase
    • Memebase
    • Americana
    • Art of Trolling
    • Cringe
    • Photobombs
    • Picture Is Unrelated
    • Politics
    • Puns
    • Rage Comics
    • Señor GIF
    • Totally Looks Like
    • Very Demotivational
    • Video Games
    • Web Comics
  • Geek Universe
    • Geek Universe
    • Cartoons & Anime
    • Game of Thrones
    • My Little Brony
    • Pokémemes
    • Pokémon GO!
    • Superheroes
    • The Walking Dead
    • Video Game Coverage
  • CheezCake
    • CheezCake
    • Bossy
    • DIY
    • Hot
    • Life in Style
    • Love & Relationships
    • Parenting
    • The Single Society
  • Loquillo
    • Loquillo
    • Animales
    • Bromas
    • Curiosidades
    • Deportes
    • Gifs
    • Medios
    • Memes
    • Videojuegos
  • Know Your MemeKYM
    • Popular Memes
    • All Memes
    • New Events
    • New Sites
    • New People
    • New Subcultures
    • All Images
    • All Videos
    • News
    • Editorials
    • Forums
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
    Download Cheezburger App for Free
    Android App on Google Play
    Available in the App Store
Toggle Navigation

FAIL Blog

FAIL Blog
  • Login
  • Submit
FAIL Blog FAIL Blog
Favorite

15 Ingenious Ways To Trick People Into Thinking You Have Your Sh*t Together

They won't even know what hit 'em. 

mattstaff Posted by mattstaff
Share
Tweet
Stumble
Pin It
Email
  • 1
    Pot rack - 1. Put a bunch of shit in jars. You know when you buy rice, pasta, or grains, they come in perfectly good plastic packaging? Well throw them out, pour the contents into big jars, and put them on display. Volla! Oppan cottage-style.
    Pin It
    Via AFewCans
  • 2
    Drink - 2. Put some big bottles of fucking mineral water in the fridge. SXPO ACQUA MINERALE NATU ALT S.PELLECRINECRINO SAN PELEGINO ELLEGF SGRINO ee FRIZZANTE 75 Your guests don't need to know that you usually drink water out of the kitchen tap. If you really want to wow them when you give them a glass of water, Just give them the sparkling stuff without even mentioning it. They'll think you drink fancy water ALL THE TIME. You fucking liar.
    Pin It
    Via AFewCans
  • 3
    Dishware - 3. Clean your goddamn bathroom. That's right. I sald it. Don't look at me Ilke that. At the very least, squirt some bleach in the tollet, wipe down the mirror, and make your sink taps shiny. Admit it, the bathroom was overdue for a clean anyway. You filthy animal.
    Pin It
    Via AFewCans
  • 4
    White - 11. Get decent paper napkins. They're super cheap from IKEA and they look way better than the roll of paper towel you usually use.
    Pin It
    Via AFewCans
  • 5
    Toothbrush - 4. Hide your disgusting fucking tooth brus h. Mom and dad coming for a visit? Or a potential new SO? Take all the stuff you actually use off the vanity and chuck it in the fucking cupboard. Then take all the stuff you never use out of the cupboard and display it. Most of these things will be miniature hand creams you've swiped from hotels. Now's their time to shine.
    Pin It
    Via AFewCans
  • 6
    Flowerpot - 5. Put some leafy herbs in jars of water or some shit. Buy some basil, parsley, and coriander and then put them in jars of water for that "I totally grew these myself" vibe. Also handy for sprinkling liberally over all the burnt bits of the dinner that you so thoughtfully prepared.
    Pin It
    Via AFewCans
  • 7
    Text - 6. Cover your couch with some stupid throw pillows with meaningless words on them. (ado Opeand BIG ROPPA You can get some custom cushions pretty cheap online that will make it look like you care about colours and design and shit. They'll serve the double purpose of hiding the stains from when you fell asleep browsing internet with a beer in your hand.
    Pin It
    Via AFewCans
  • 8
    Flowerpot - 9. Demonstrate that you're capable of keeping something alive. See this plant? It's called a jade plant and it is IMMORTAL. One of your neighbours also has It growing in their front yard and they probably won't mind If you snap off a couple of branches as you walk home from the bus stop. Then when you get home, stick the branches in some different glass bottles and display them around the house. If that falls, a collection of twigs in a wine bottle will totally do the trick.
    Pin It
    Via AFewCans
  • 9
    Eyewear - 7. Put a hardcover book on your piece of shit bedside table with a bookmark in it. You were never going to read Crime and Punishment, but you may as well make it look Ilike you did. If you really want to seal the deal, put a pair of glasses that you haven't worn since high school on top. They're back in style now, anyway.
    Pin It
    Via AFewCans
  • 10
    Natural foods - 8. Get the biggest bowl in your house and fill it with some fucking lemons. "Better get this out of the way," you can say just before you sit down for dinner to make sure everyone has seen it, and then never mention it again. Everyone will assume you have jars of homemade lemon curd in your pantry. But I know the truth.
    Pin It
    Via AFewCans
  • 11
    Photo caption - 10. Create some fucking ambiance and dim the lights already. If they can't see the dust, technically it's not there. Put a couple of scented candles in the bathroom and leave the lights off. That'll help make up for the fact that you didn't clean the fucking bathroom like I told you to.
    Pin It
    Via AFewCans
  • 12
    Water - 12. Pretend you can't remember what wine you have. If you say something like, "I think I've got some cab sav in the cupboard" It will look like you didn't just buy that bottle before your guests came over.
    Pin It
    Via AFewCans
  • 13
    Food - 13. Cook a roast. Nothing makes you look more like a Genuine Adult than doing a roast. Put some meat and veggies in one of those disposable foil pans and you can have it in the oven an hour and a half before your guests come. That will give you enough time to wash the dishes and pollish off a bottle of wine before they arrive. Because my god do you need a drink.
    Pin It
    Via AFewCans
  • 14
    Natural foods - 14. Don't bother baking a terrible cake for dessert. A couple of blocks of dark chocolate broken into shards and a plate of fresh frult tastes great, and no one has to pretend they like it.
    Pin It
    Via AFewCans
  • 15
    Text - 15. Overwhelm your guests by offering them many types of tea. "Tea? Sure! We've just got green, peppermint, chamomile, lady grey, Irish breakfast, elderberry, lemon and mandarin, licorice, Jasmine, roolbos, cinnamon, or lemongrass."
    Pin It
    Via AFewCans
Repost
    • -
    • Vote
    • -
    Recaption
    Share
    Tweet
    Stumble
    Pin It
    Email
    • trolling
    • relatable
    • life hacks
    • ridiculous
    • DIY
    • funny
    • Reposted by
    • tapiocas's avatar
    • Grittonse6's avatar
    • mikekomljenovic's avatar

    Next on FAIL Blog

    19 Things People Will Never Buy Again
    Comments - Click to show - Click to hide

    Upvoted

    644

    Facebook Post On Foolishness Of Human Beings
    585

    27 Relationship Memes That Are Overflowing With Sarcasm
    545

    Frivolous Neighbor Picks Wrong Neighbor To Sue
    403

    Tumblr Thread: Wolf Spiders Run The Cranberry Bogs
    304

    Sweet And Saucy Relationship Memes For The Coupled Up

    Hot Today

    1

    Educational Tumblr Thread On Financial Assistance For Disabled People
    2

    Remarkable Retorts That Wrecked People
    3

    Loopholes People Found And Exploited
    4

    Facebook Post On Foolishness Of Human Beings
    5

    Absurd Stranger Gets All Tough Over 20 Dollars

    Follow The Laughs

    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Pinterest
    Terms | Privacy | Security | DMCA Policy
    Privacy Settings

    Have an idea or a criticism? We want to hear from you: contactus@cheezburger.com

    Channels

    I Can Has
    I Can Has Cheezburger?
    Animal Comedy
    Animal Gifs
    Cat Meme Of The Decade
    Cats N' Kittens
    Daily Squee
    Doggos N' Puppers
    I Has A Hotdog
    Lolcats
    Pet Passports
    FAIL Blog
    FAIL Blog
    After 12
    Autocowrecks
    Dating Fails
    FAIL Nation
    Failbook
    Monday Thru Friday
    Music
    Parenting
    Poorly Dressed
    School of Fail
    There, I Fixed It
    Ugliest Tattoos
    WIN!
    Memebase
    Memebase
    Americana
    Art of Trolling
    Cringe
    Photobombs
    Picture Is Unrelated
    Politics
    Puns
    Rage Comics
    Señor GIF
    Totally Looks Like
    Very Demotivational
    Video Games
    Web Comics
    Geek Universe
    Geek Universe
    Cartoons & Anime
    Game of Thrones
    My Little Brony
    Pokémemes
    Pokémon GO!
    Superheroes
    The Walking Dead
    Video Game Coverage
    CheezCake
    CheezCake
    Bossy
    DIY
    Hot
    Life in Style
    Love & Relationships
    Parenting
    The Single Society
    Loquillo
    Loquillo
    Animales
    Bromas
    Curiosidades
    Deportes
    Gifs
    Medios
    Memes
    Videojuegos
    Know Your Meme
    Popular Memes
    All Memes
    New Events
    New Sites
    New People
    New Subcultures
    All Images
    All Videos
    News
    Editorials
    Forums
    Know Your Meme
    Popular Memes
    All Memes
    New Events
    New Sites
    New People
    New Subcultures
    All Images
    All Videos
    News
    Editorials
    Forums

    Join Us

    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Pinterest

    Get The App

    Android App on Google Play Available in the App Store

    Company

    • Cheezburger Blog
    • Community Guidelines
    • Advertising
    • Press
    • Support

    ©2020 Cheezburger, Inc. | Terms | Privacy | Security | DMCA Policy | Privacy Settings   Find us on: Facebook, Twitter