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The Way This Daughter Terrorizes Her Mother Over Text Is Cruel... But So Very Funny

Liz Hammett has been the bane of her mother's existence since, presumably, the day she was born. It looks like her mother has finally caught up with technology so now her pranks have extended into the digital realm in the form of text messages that she has so graciously shared with the internet.

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  • 1

    Apparently This is Her Mom's First Text

    Text - 8:02 AM 80% QO You're gamey Leedy his penis Aun tyne hoar 5:34 PM Mom. Read it before you send it. 5:34 PM Call make 5:35 PM Call blow 5:35 PM Call now 5:35 PM No. It's waaaay more fun this way 5:36 PM Now 5:37 PM Enter message
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    It shows...


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  • 2
    Text - 68% F2:24 PM QO Mom 12/23/2015 Wed Mom I'm here. Answer the door! 7:10 AM Get up. I'm going to steal your wreath. 7:12 AM Where are you I don't see you 1:38 PM Mom that was like 6 hours ago. 1:39 PM 12/24/2015 Thu Where's my wreath Elizabeth 9:47 AM You were warned 9:50 AM Enter message
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  • 3
    Text - 93%F 4:29 PM O C Mom Answer the pounce 4:20 PM I think it's, eye of the tiger 4:21 PM What 4:23 PM Meow 4:23 PM Answer your phone Elizabeth now? 4:26 PM You seem unsure 4:26 PM I see you found the question mark on your phone though. Well done. 01/1 4:28 PM Enter message
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  • 4
    Text - 6:08 PM 78% OO Mom I just got home. Did you steal my Haugen joined? 5:58 PM No, I most definitely did not steal your garden gnomes. 5:59 PM Elizabeth. I know you stole them. 6:00 PM Look in the backyard 6:01 PM I don't where you came from. You're an awful child. 6:07 PM Enter message
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  • 5

    Thanks for Letting Me Know, Mom

    Text - 2:50 PM 74% Mom That guy from that band you like is dead. 2:38 PM Scott Weiland 2:39 PM No don't think that's it 2:43 PM Scott Weiland 2:43 PM No. Stop saying that 2:47 PM Kurt Cobain 2:48 PM That sounds familiar. That might be it. 2.50 PM Enter message
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  • 6
    Text - 7:49 AM 85% QO Mom Answer your phone 7:37 AM Hello 7:38 AM Elizabeth it's your mother 7:41 AM How do I know it's really you? 7:42 AM Damn it now you just answer the phone when I tell you to. Do what I say. 7:45 AM It IS you! So how have you been? 7:46 AM You know I'm losing my hair because of you. You're an awful child. Enter message
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  • 7
    Text - 3:20 PM 86% Mom 01/18/2016 Mon Answer your phone 2:49 PM We're sorry, but the number you have reached has been disconnected. 2:50 PM I'm not falling for that again Elizabeth 2:53 PM Damn. But I didn't get a screenshot last time! I was hoping you would apologize again. 2:53 PM I don't what that is I never know what the hell you're talking about. Rotten kid 3:13 PM Enter message
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  • 8
    Text - 3:21 PM 86% OC Mom 3:13 PM 01/20/2016 Wed I'm coming over to help take your Christmas tree down 2:43 PM Nobody touches my tree 2:44 PM Damn it Elizabeth take it down now enough is enough 2:47 PM Where are you? I Thought you were coming over to help take down my tree today? 3:44 PM What is wrong with you? Why couldn't I have a normal kid 3:48 PM 01/04/016.a Enter message
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  • 9

    Most Phones Really Don't Have an Air Quotes Button

    Text - 79% 2:54 PM QO Mom Where is the question mark on my phone. I don't have one 2:38 PM Some phones don't have them. Try making better use of the period. 2:43 PM Elizabeth just tell me where the quotation mark is 2:46 PM Ooohhh. Well that you just use your fingers and do it in the air. Then wave your arms around like you just don't care. Woot Woot! 2:49 PM What the hell are you talking about. Are you drinking. 2:51 PM Was that a question? Enter message
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  • 10
    Text - 94%F9:17 AM QO Mom 01/28/2016 Thu Did you take my vacuum 8:18 AM Yes 8:18 AM Why 8:19 AM Your vacuum sucks. Mine doesn't. 8:20 AM My vacuum doesn't suck Elizabeth you suck now bring it back. 8:21 AM And the house key too 8:22 AM Oh mom. You're so cute when you're confused and pissed off. Enter message
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  • 11
    Text - 9:23 AM 96% QO Mom 02/11/2016 Thu How is catch feeling 9:13 AM Today was a good day 9:13 AM What do you mean 9:18 AM Well ya know, I didn't even hafta use my AK 9:21 AM It's too early for this shit Elizabeth 9:23 AM Enter message
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  • 12
    Text - 3:21 PM 86% OC Mom 01/24/2016 Sun Mom stop and grab me a coffee on your way over 7:50 AM No 7:51 AM What? Why?!?! 7:51 AM Because you're an ungrateful brat 7:52 AM I'm grateful you and dad got busy 36 years ago. Bow chicka bow bow 7:53 AM You know you are killing me Elizabeth. You're really killing me. No coffee. Enter message
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  • 13
    Text - 5:06 PM 80% QC Mom 02/12/2016 Fri I think you hurt your sisters feelings. You can't always joke like that 4:03 PM Give her another quaalude, she'll love me again. 4:03 PM What is wrong with you. You call your sister and apologize. Do as I say Elizabeth 4:20 PM I can't apologize for being awesome 4:22 PM I don't know where you came from. Sometimes you a real big asshole. 4:30 PM Enter message
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  • 14
    Text - 5:06 PM 80% OO Mom Bring me my house key 6:10 PM Why?? 6:11 PM Your father's recliner is in the kitchen. Iknow you did it. 6:14 PM You have the wrong number 6:16 PM Elizabeth get over here and move it back. Your father can't see the tv. 6:24 PM Wait. Did he actually try? God I love you guys for that. 6:25 PM Call me noW Enter message
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  • 15

    I Think You Know

    Text - 90%F 4:18 PM Mom I found this box all taped up I think it's yours from the move 8:06 AM WHAT'S IN THE BOX? MMS 8:10 AM WHAT'S IN THE BOX?! MMS 8:12 AM I'm not sure where I went wrong with you 8:15 AM Enter message
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  • 16
    Text - 5:04 PM 82% OO Mom I heard police sirens after you left. Are you ok? 4:50 PM I'm cool but this cop seems agitated cuz I won't roll my window down 4:51 PM Ok now he's REALLY agitated. His buddies got here and they all want me to roll the window down too. 4:52 PM Are you being a smartass?!?! 5:01 PM You told me not to talk to strangers. 5:01 PM I could strangle you right now you rotten kid. You're killing your father too you brat. Enter message
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  • 17
    Text - 2:12 PM 80% Mom That kid at the carry out said he selling his car. Dylan I think. 7:52 AM Wow. Have you no shame? I will NEVER do business with that punk EVER. 8:01 AM What the hell? Why? 8:03 AM Because he cheated on Brenda with that whore Kelly! 8:04 AM Kelly from the other carry out? 8:06 AM Yes mom. Exactly. Kelly from the other carry out. 8:09 AM Enter message
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  • 18
    Text - 9:30 AM 100% Mom I'm on my over there right now. 5:59 PM Huh? Why?? 5:59 PM We've only been gone an hour Elizabeth. We come home and I have no forks!!! 6:00 PM I told you there would be retribution if you did not bring me Easter dinner leftovers. 6:02 PM When I pull up you run out my damn forks Elizabeth. How could you steal every fork you rotten kid. 6:04 PM I stole your spoons too. Apparently you didn't need them tonight. Enter message
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  • 19
    Text - 2:10 PM 82% Mom Answer your phone 1:53 PM Gimme a minute. I can't find my phone. 1:54 PM Ok 1:55 PM You are an awful child. You know you're killing me. You're killing your mother Elizabeth 2:02 PM Only took you 7 minutes to catch on. Well done ma 2:03 PM I don't even know where you came from 2:09 PM Enter message
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  • 20

    That Poor Woman

    Text - 8:29 AM 50% OO Mom 12/06/2015 Sun Elizabeth did you do something to my phone. Every time I type butt it changes it to butt. 8:23 AM What does it change it to? 8:23 AM butt 8:24 AM That's really strange. Try typing the original word again. 8:25 AM butt 8:27 AM This is great 8:28 AM Enter message
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  • 21

    Don't Worry, She Got Her Revenge

    Text - 77% 7:35 AM Mom Mom!!!!! I thought you were bringing me coffee!!!! 7:18 AM I did. You didn't answer your phone so I left it outside in front of your door. 7:27 AM Mom. Really? It's not in front of the door, it's up against it. I can't even open it without spilling the coffee. 7:29 AM I know. Have fun cleaning it up you brat. 7:31 AM Holy shit I've created a monster. 7:33 AM Enter message
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