Insightful Tumblr Thread Breaks Down Meanings Of Different Figures Of Speech

Just a quick reminder that you're great, and the english language actually supports that theory! 

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Inanimate Objects that Look Like Other Stuff

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23-year-old small business owner gets swindled out of being paid, goes to the customer's place and removes his front door: ‘Store wide open in the middle of a busy street.’

23-year-old small business owner gets swindled out of being paid, goes to the customer's place and removes his front door: ‘Store wide open in the middle of a busy street.’

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'Don't come back': Opportunistic employee goes home early when a scheduled fire drill makes management second-guess their instructional wording

'Don't come back': Opportunistic employee goes home early when a scheduled fire drill makes management second-guess their instructional wording

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New stepmother demands 17-year-old babysit her children because his father said he would if they married: 'My relationship with his wife and her kids doesn't exist really, and I know that [makes her mad] but she was his choice, not mine'

New stepmother demands 17-year-old babysit her children because his father said he would if they married: 'My relationship with his wife and her kids doesn't exist really, and I know that [makes her mad] but she was his choice, not mine'

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25-year-old brother's girlfriend tries to kick 15-year-old out of her own house that the siblings together, saying they want their own "space": 'I reminded her that I own half of this “space” so she’s delusional if she thinks she can just get rid of me'

25-year-old brother's girlfriend tries to kick 15-year-old out of her own house that the siblings together, saying they want their own "space": 'I reminded her that I own half of this “space” so she’s delusional if she thinks she can just get rid of me'

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18-year-old café employee told by her new shift lead to stop talking, stops talking entirely, forcing the lead to backtrack: 'You’re not paid to talk, you’re paid to work'

18-year-old café employee told by her new shift lead to stop talking, stops talking entirely, forcing the lead to backtrack: 'You’re not paid to talk, you’re paid to work'

05
Employee told he is going to lose all of his leave by the end of the year, takes it all at once, leaving projects struggling to be completed: 'Use all your PTO before December 31 or lose it? Alright, don't mind if I do, even if the project burns...'

Employee told he is going to lose all of his leave by the end of the year, takes it all at once, leaving projects struggling to be completed: 'Use all your PTO before December 31 or lose it? Alright, don't mind if I do, even if the project burns...'

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