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Funniest Relationship Tweets We Scrolled Past This Week

Guaranteed to make you laugh, cry or both. Just in case you have missed our previous list, here's alink.




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  • 1
    Text - t Jon Retweeted Laurazepam @andlikelaura 1st base: sex 2nd base: holding hands 3rd base: meeting their pet home run: letting them eat your food 6:17 pm 5 Sep 2019 Twitter for iPhone 53.8K Likes 6.6K Retweets
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  • 2
    Text - Jess @Jessicaadxx So my BOYFRIEND comes home last night absolutely smashed, gets undressed and then just stands there in my room. So I'm like are you coming to bed? And he goes "no thank you, I'm sure you're lovely but I have a girlfriend" and goes to sleep on the floor 1:25 pm 31 Aug 2019 Twitter for Android 286.2K Likes 33.9K Retweets
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  • 3
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  • 4
    Text - The Dad THE DAD @thedad Being married is mostly pointing out that the other person is always using their phone during the small window where you're not using yours. 11:36 pm 28 Aug 2019 Buffer 3.6K Likes 611 Retweets
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    Via thedad

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  • 5
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  • 6
    Text - Abanoma Abeiku @Wo_Fie_Bayie I've Never Seen A Groom Or A Bride Going To The Toilet On Their Wedding Day... Do They Wear Pampers? 10:43 am 30 Aug 2019 Twitter for Android 409 Likes 156 Retweets
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  • 7
    Text - THE DAD The Dad @thedad When my wife says she doesn't care where we go for dinner so I give 6 options AHOR YOU RULE YOU SUCK
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    Via thedad

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  • 8
    Text - t Jon Retweeted Kyle @KylePlantEmoji Who called it a one night stand and not a humpty dumpty 10:27 pm 10 Sep 2019 Twitter for Android 4.6K Likes 594 Retweets
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  • 9
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  • 10
    Text - mark @TheCatWhisprer NEWLYWEDS: *feed each other cake from their own plates* VETERAN SPOUSES: *use a ruler and knife to precisely cut cake into 2 equal pieces* 2:09 am 10 Sep 2019 Twitter for iPhone 173 Likes 20 Retweets >
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  • 11
    Text - URunULA @3sunzzz If you want to receive a text message every 3 minutes hour, send your husband to the grocery store. 8:11 pm 10 Sep 2019 Twitter for Android 1K Likes 285 Retweets
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    Via 3sunzzz

  • 12
    Text - Chad Read @squirrel74wkgn [first date after divorce] Me: Hi! Nice to meet you! Her: Hi! Hahaha, did you just come from an 80s party? Me (taking off white Miami Vice jacket): Hahaha, a what? 6:35 am 10 Sep 2019 Twitter for iPhone 498 Likes 150 Retweets
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  • 13
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    Via AlsBoy

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  • 14
    Text - THE DAD The Dad @thedad Her: I bet he's thinking of other women Him: If the person who named Merry-Go-Rounds named rollercoasters they'd be called Scary-Go-Downs THE DAD >
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    Via thedad
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Parenting Tweets For Your Amusement (25 Tweets)
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