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Rando Memes And Tweets (48 Funny Posts)

It's your lucky day, dear reader - we have memes for you! Well, we have memes for you every day, but we also have memes for you today. So have fun with 'em!

Posted by Meeeeesh
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  • 1
    Text - Couch - Me whenever I break something at work Buy another one you rich motherfuckers!
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  • 2
    Text - Text - Keaton Patti @KeatonPatti Still enthralled by the novelizations of the Austin Powers movies. "I've gone the wrong shagging way," Austin thought to himself, groovily Austin stopped the cart and attempted to turn around. However, Dr. Evil's dastardly corridor walls were too close together to make a U-turn. Austin had to think fast. He turned a little one way, then reversed a little, then turned, then reversed, on and on for minutes until the cart he was driving was perfectly wedged p
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  • 3
    Text - Face - Bub @dubpud The final boss on Linkedln Chad Champion .3rd
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  • 4
    Text - Text - Pickup Truck Heaven @BonerPolice6969 My cat's out here acting like he dont love when I pretend to nibble at his belly fat, but I hear his ass purring. Quit hiding your love from the people that matter most. 11:30 AM 15 Sep 19 Twitter for Android li View Tweet activity
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  • 5
    Text - Text - The vending machine when you finally smooth out that one wrinkled edge the bill on @goodgirl_badtimes Okay, I'm ready. Put it in.
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  • 6
    Text - lan Tweezy and 2 others liked ICE TO @FINALLEVEL A guy on the Bus Stop just yelled at me "Jay Z's got more money that you!" as I drove by... I though that kinda shit only happens on Twitter! Lol 10:20 PM Sep 15, 2019 Twitter for iPhone 9.5K Retweets 89.9K Likes
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  • 7
    Text - WarcraftStats @warcraftstats 94% of Paladins are banned from Planet Fitness. It's a 'Judgement-free' zone. 2:44 PM 09 Sep 19 Twitter for iPhone 172 Retweets 1,227 Likes Planet Fitness @PlanetFitn... Replying to @warcraftstats 23h planet "fitness Thanks for letting us know about this! We never intend for anyone to feel excluded but for the safety of our members & equipment, we don't allow the practice of ranged offensive spells our clubs. e We appreciate all of our members regardless of th
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  • 8
    Product - Gareth Cliff @GarethCliff Which addiction is yours? in Ps Sparks Liner Hex (6) @RadiantHex god i just fucking love uber too much. i cannot stop ordering ubers to my house and having them drive me to the nearest bus stop and calling another uber to go to the next one
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  • 9
    Text - Ollie Balaam @OBalaam Being prompted to vault over the grave of my daughter is diminishing the emotional resonance of this scene somewhat. Vault LENAPEARCE octosa 6:58 AM- Oct 12, 2014 PlayStation(R)4 an-actual-stone You have to get over death one way or the other
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  • 10
    Text - the library haunter @SketchesbyBoze telling people you're single: "you'll find someone" "have you tried tinder" saying "many have tried to date me and all have failed": mystical empowering Sword-in-the-stone vibes
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  • 11
    Door handle - Them: just let me in, I wanna get to know u Ме:
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  • 12
    Text - J @pls_stfu How men wanna be treated when their boys aren't around
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  • 13
    Text - Claire @clurrrburr547 My favorite part about opening gifts labeled "from Mom & Dad" is that my Dad is just as surprised to see what's inside as I am
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  • 14
    Text - Satan @s8n Stop worrying, I promise you nobody cares but you 01:09 15/09/2019 Twitter for iPhone 18.8K Retweets 76.5K Likes
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  • 15
    Electronics - Dr. Pumpkin Spiceotope @Buckylsotope oh no oh no Glue Factory Jitters Cafe North Chili Old Town Road
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  • 16
    Food - @bonjourdebbie i am Sick and james asked if i wanted toast so i requested "plain toast" twitter, he made me PLANE toast
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  • 17
    Land vehicle - Ali I'm pretty sure if you Hey Jay had a quarter million dollar car, you wouldn't want door dings either now would you? Oh wait, you probably drive a Prius. I'm going to kindly ask you to take this down because these are some of the kindest people I know.
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  • 18
    Helmet - When your black cat parties so hard on get their head stuck in the scratcher ring on Saturday the Friday the 13th, they 14th
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  • 19
    Text - Josh @iwearaonesie wife: We just ate, why are you making pancakes? me: They're for the dogs wife: Why are you making pancakes for the dogs? me: They don't know how
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  • 20
    Product - élisabeth @elisabethenechi that's acc the foxes house now so i'm not doing anything but closing the door and finding a new home MSTCS @mstcs_x 1d What do you do in this situation?? Show this thread 14:09 12 Sep 19 Twitter for iPhone
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  • 21
    Hand - N Jacob, 23 Lives in less than a mile away My lungs my have blood clots But my heart will only beats for you
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  • 22
    anemone fish - my 7y/o neighbor just came by and handed me this magnet, she said she went to sealife & bought a sovenir for me (with her own money!!) because she knows Finding Nemo is my favorite Disney movie ever I'm weak SEALIFE
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  • 23
    Text - I am addicted to the family tree app! I was able to follow my direct descendant line back 102 generations all the way to Adam and Eve! I also found my ancestors correlation to Jesus Like Share Comment 9
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  • 24
    Hair - Me: "I'm in the mood for something lighthearted, let's watch Queer Eye" Me, 47 mins later, watching someone chant "I deserve love" into a mirror: @alreadybored,jpg RAW Why am I crying?
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  • 25
    Text - ruby @medievaliszt Теа: -calming - many flavours - the answer to all problems Coffee: - Anxiety JuiceTM - 3 heartbeats for the price of 1 -more than 4 cups and you can talk to electricity
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  • 26
    Text - Nick @pseudoSpaghetti "Your teenage years are the best years of your life" they said. Yeah? Well, then explain why I'm depressed as fuck drinking milk straight from the carton and eating fruit snacks at 2:53am while hating myself and wondering why I'm not good enough 8:37 PM 14 Sep 19 Twitter for Android
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  • 27
    Dog clothes - Expensive gourmet dog food Cat shit coated in kitty litter
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  • 28
    Text - Scrappy Momma @scrappy_momma I would like to revisit our argument from last week. I have since come up with many points l'd like to add. 7:23 AM 16 Sep 19 Twitter for Android
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  • 29
    Product - My teacher: where did you travel this summer? Мe: Twitter napchat Instagram IN YouTub oundClou Netflix
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  • 30
    Text - Shen gefällt das @graviticflux im losing my shit Liam Stack @liamstack & 79% vodafone UK 20:51 A New Zealand man brought an r/LegalAdviceUK u/emotionalsupprtclown 3h emotional support clown to a meeting where he knew he'd be about to be sacked from work. fired. The clown blew up balloons can I hire a clown to support me in my meeting? Question Of The Week Travel and folded them into a series of animals throughout the meeting, then mimed crying when the man I fucked up at work and I'm pret
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  • 31
    Text - sabrina @sabrinawxm i want a husband. i'm tired of telling 20 guys how my day went
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  • 32
    Text - august folfie @AFolfie Okay so today I was at a long red light and this guy beside is bumping "hey ya!" by OutKast right. So I start singing along because its hey ya and he rolls down his windows and starts singing with me for a solid 15 seconds and honestly why can't the world always be like this 5:50 PM 9/12/19 Twitter for iPhone
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  • 33
    Font - Iput the sexy in dyslexia 5:14 PM 9/13/19 Twitter for iPhone 4 Retweets 34 Likes
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  • 34
    Text - Chris Rubeiz @crubeiz 3h I know I'm not supposed to laugh because he's 3... Benji: Hey mom! Why do we have so many hookers in the laundry room? Mom: <frozen> Benji: <walks out holding a clothes hanger> Mom: HANGERS. Those are called HANGERS! Benji: Well... They look like HOOKERS! t 3 4 17
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  • 35
    Text - average joe @jazz_inmypants things in my brain: -every line from every movie -every lyric from every song -every time someone was mean to me -everyone who was ever nice to me things that are not in my brain: -my license plate # self-esteem -spinach - the ability to spell Necessary -trigonometry 12:34 PM 15 Sep 19 Twitter for iPhone
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  • 36
    Cartoon - Sol heard that cats like to sit in circles... Circle, not interested. Square, mildly interested. Thave no questions at this point.
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  • 37
    Text - drebinhasyou @drebinhasyou Me with ice cream: "I'm glad l ate that". Me with chocolate ice cream: "I got it all over me. Fuck" 6:38 AM 9/16/19 Twitter for iPhone
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  • 38
    Text - You were also boring. You didn't say anything throughout. I thought maybe you have mouth odour or something. The way you were even eating, as if you have been fasting for 40 days. Don't ever call me again. Boring girl! Date with a lawyer can be soo boo0oring. This one has bored me with court cases. I need to get out of here Show this thread 14:10 15 Sep 19 Twitter for Android
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  • 39
    Text - Dog Daddy @dog_daddy Apple: We have just released the most powerful iPhone ever Me: Talk to me about how many dog photos it can hold
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  • 40
    Flower - Replying to Well we did have the perfect Paper Daisy display @AustralianBG until visitors decided that their #SelfishSelfies were more important & trampled the plants everywhere. So disappointing, our gardens are not respected as they should be Our horticulturists work so hard, then this. 276 10:57 AM-Sep 15, 2019 > 203 people are talking about this
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  • 41
    Text - ThreeTimeDaddy @threetimedaddy Never waste your diamonds on a hoe, Daddy' - son, giving me Minecraft advice to live by (I hope) 18:36 15 Sep 19 Twitter for iPhone
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  • 42
    Text - drebinhasyou @drebinhasyou If you want some perspective on a worker's value, quit your corporate job without notice. You'll be told you're Screwing over your coworkers and end up with a bad reference on your resume. Quit your job with a month's notice and you'll be taken off the schedule that very day. 12:36 AM 9/16/19 Twitter for iPhone
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  • 43
    Gentleman - Girls at weddings: Ugh her dress is the same color as mine Boys at weddings:
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  • 44
    Text - indie conan o'brien @Hen... 2h Fellas you ever accidentally wash your face using the same rag that your girl used to wipe your cum off her stomach 10 t.12 349 step-dad kimmy @relaxtho Replying to @HentaiPolice my gf doesn't need to be involved for me to accidently do this 9:42 p.m. 15 Sep. 19 Twitter for Android
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  • 45
    Text - fred @MaribelYesenia Sep 13 Why do hot girls have sex w adam22?? he's disgusting t256 87 2.7K Kendra Sunderland @KSLibraryGirl Replying to @MaribelYesenia You should change ur bio. How hypocritical of it to say "Be Nice Idiot" yet here u are being mean for no reason. I've had sex with Adam. He's clean and smells nice. And took me and his gf to dinner afterwards. So keep ur opinions to urself unless ur gonna be nice idiot 1:42 AM Sep 14, 2019 Twitter for iPhone 124 Likes 12 Retweets @ayaaa
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  • 46
    Product - l Sprint @ 50% 9:22 PM ON 9/12/19 YOU MATCHED WITH omg i've seen you before!! Today 9:11 PM omg really Where in my dreams
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  • 47
    Product - Jillian Christine @JillEngel I'm a school photographer and we got to take a service dog's picture for the yearbook today
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  • 48
    Text - Sorry I Didn't Respond To Your Text! I Get Overwhelmed By Simple Tasks reductress.com samael me, constantly Source: alivedyke
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