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Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Week (November 10th, 2019)

Every week we bring you the funniest parenting tweets we saw on Twitter because nothing is funnier than frustrated parents. Enjoy!

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  • 1
    Text - WTFDAD @daddydoubts When your toddler can open the door themselves in the middle of the night congratulations, you live in a haunted house now. 8:30 am- 8 Nov 2019 Twitter for iPhone 1K Likes 181 Retweets
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  • 2
    Text - Jessie @mommajessiec Me: *calls child's name Me: *calls child's name* Me: *opens candy wrapper* Child: THAT BETTER NOT BE MY HALLOWEEN CANDY!! 3:12 am 6 Nov 2019 Twitter for iPhone 1.2K Likes 242 Retweets
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  • 3
    Text - MomTransparenting @momtransparent1 I don't know started the saying "life is short" but it definitely wasn't a parent waiting for a child to "do it myself" 5:59 pm 4 Nov 2019 Twitter for iPhone 206 Likes 37 Retweets
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  • 4
    Text - MyQuestionableLife @2questionable naunm The parenting books don't tell you you're going to go broke buying reusable water bottles for your kid to lose. 3:48 am.8 Nov 2019 Twitter for iPhone
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  • 5
    Text - Rhyming Mama @sarabellab123 Of all the terrible ways to be woken up I think, "mommy, my fart is on the floor," takes the cake. 3:01 pm 7 Nov 2019 Twitter for iPhone 1.6K Likes 245 Retweets
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  • 6
    Text - Mom On The Rocks @mom_ontherocks Therapist: What do you do when your toddler has unrealistic expectations? Me: Tell her she's acting like her father. Therapist: No 5:14 pm 6 Nov 2019 Twitter for iPhone 517 Likes 133 Retweets
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  • 7
    Text - SpacedMom @copymama The Forrest Gump shrimp scene, but it's my daughter listing the various types of slime: "There's unicorn slime, butter slime, glow in the dark slime, galaxy slime, jelly slime, metallic slime, magnetic slime, glitter slime, rainbow slime, snow slime, fluffy slime..." 4:15 pm 6 Nov 2019 Twitter Web App 451 Likes 87 Retweets
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  • 8
    Text - James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn Me: Why is there a sticker on the fridge? 5-year-old: It did a good job. Me: *gives it another sticker 8:45 pm 7 Nov 2019 Twitter for Android 131 Retweets 2.9K Likes
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  • 9
    Text - Ramblin Mama @ramblinma Mom friend: "Nutrition is so important." Me, knowing full well my kids survive on various forms of fried potatoes: "Totally." 8:07 pm 7 Nov 2019 Twitter Web App 50 Likes 9 Retweets
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  • 10
    Text - Robert Knop @FatherWith Twins All day: 10yo: *sniffing but refuses to blow nose During piano practice: 10yo: *insists on blowing his nose every 30 secs 2:01 am 6 Nov 2019 Twitter for iPhone
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  • 11
    Text - mark @TheCatWhisprer CLOCK: daylight saving time has ended you now have an extra hour MY KID: dibs 2:48 pm 3 Nov 2019 Twitter for iPhone 206 Likes 20 Retweets
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  • 12
    Text - Marcy G @BunAndLeggings I saw a new mom and I could see the hope and love in her eyes while she held her newborn, so I acknowledged the adorableness of her baby and whispered "run" as I walked away. 8:46 pm 7 Nov 2019 Twitter for Android 353 Likes 49 Retweets
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  • 13
    Text - Divergent Mama @Divergentmama I think I've figured out this whole meal planning thing with kids: Monday won't eat it Tuesday don't like it Wednesday - ewww gross Thursday that AGAIN Friday it smells weird Saturday this has chunks Sunday - pizza 7:00 pm 5 Nov 2019 Twitter for Android 967 Likes 193 Retweets >
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  • 14
    Text - maura quint @behindyourback the most interesting thing about being the mom of a 6 year old is knowing that I'm way too old to be cast the mom of a teenager in any primetime tv show 6:40 pm 7 Nov 2019 Twitter Web App
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  • 15
    Text - ÇalliopeMoon @chellemybell22 Non parents: This silence is nice Parents: *hears nothing* where the fuck are the kids and what are they doing!?? 4:47 pm 7 Nov 2019 Twitter for Android 41 Retweets 171 Likes
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  • 16
    Text - Richard Dean @dad_on_my_feet At bedtime our 3yo cried because his stuffed "buddy" was missing, so I heroically retrieved it. The fact that he then began screaming for a completely DIFFERENT toy is why I'm currently drinking all the scotch 4:38 am 8 Nov 2019 Twitter for iPhone 380 Likes 38 Retweets
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