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Funniest Parenting Tweets Of The Week (November 10th, 2019)

Every week we bring you the funniest parenting tweets we saw on Twitter because nothing is funnier than frustrated parents. Enjoy!

Posted by elinorsalo
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  • 1
    Text - WTFDAD @daddydoubts When your toddler can open the door themselves in the middle of the night congratulations, you live in a haunted house now. 8:30 am- 8 Nov 2019 Twitter for iPhone 1K Likes 181 Retweets
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  • 2
    Text - Jessie @mommajessiec Me: *calls child's name Me: *calls child's name* Me: *opens candy wrapper* Child: THAT BETTER NOT BE MY HALLOWEEN CANDY!! 3:12 am 6 Nov 2019 Twitter for iPhone 1.2K Likes 242 Retweets
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  • 3
    Text - MomTransparenting @momtransparent1 I don't know started the saying "life is short" but it definitely wasn't a parent waiting for a child to "do it myself" 5:59 pm 4 Nov 2019 Twitter for iPhone 206 Likes 37 Retweets
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  • 4
    Text - MyQuestionableLife @2questionable naunm The parenting books don't tell you you're going to go broke buying reusable water bottles for your kid to lose. 3:48 am.8 Nov 2019 Twitter for iPhone
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  • 5
    Text - Rhyming Mama @sarabellab123 Of all the terrible ways to be woken up I think, "mommy, my fart is on the floor," takes the cake. 3:01 pm 7 Nov 2019 Twitter for iPhone 1.6K Likes 245 Retweets
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  • 6
    Text - Mom On The Rocks @mom_ontherocks Therapist: What do you do when your toddler has unrealistic expectations? Me: Tell her she's acting like her father. Therapist: No 5:14 pm 6 Nov 2019 Twitter for iPhone 517 Likes 133 Retweets
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  • 7
    Text - SpacedMom @copymama The Forrest Gump shrimp scene, but it's my daughter listing the various types of slime: "There's unicorn slime, butter slime, glow in the dark slime, galaxy slime, jelly slime, metallic slime, magnetic slime, glitter slime, rainbow slime, snow slime, fluffy slime..." 4:15 pm 6 Nov 2019 Twitter Web App 451 Likes 87 Retweets
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  • 8
    Text - James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn @XplodingUnicorn Me: Why is there a sticker on the fridge? 5-year-old: It did a good job. Me: *gives it another sticker 8:45 pm 7 Nov 2019 Twitter for Android 131 Retweets 2.9K Likes
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  • 9
    Text - Ramblin Mama @ramblinma Mom friend: "Nutrition is so important." Me, knowing full well my kids survive on various forms of fried potatoes: "Totally." 8:07 pm 7 Nov 2019 Twitter Web App 50 Likes 9 Retweets
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  • 10
    Text - Robert Knop @FatherWith Twins All day: 10yo: *sniffing but refuses to blow nose During piano practice: 10yo: *insists on blowing his nose every 30 secs 2:01 am 6 Nov 2019 Twitter for iPhone
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  • 11
    Text - mark @TheCatWhisprer CLOCK: daylight saving time has ended you now have an extra hour MY KID: dibs 2:48 pm 3 Nov 2019 Twitter for iPhone 206 Likes 20 Retweets
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  • 12
    Text - Marcy G @BunAndLeggings I saw a new mom and I could see the hope and love in her eyes while she held her newborn, so I acknowledged the adorableness of her baby and whispered "run" as I walked away. 8:46 pm 7 Nov 2019 Twitter for Android 353 Likes 49 Retweets
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  • 13
    Text - Divergent Mama @Divergentmama I think I've figured out this whole meal planning thing with kids: Monday won't eat it Tuesday don't like it Wednesday - ewww gross Thursday that AGAIN Friday it smells weird Saturday this has chunks Sunday - pizza 7:00 pm 5 Nov 2019 Twitter for Android 967 Likes 193 Retweets >
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  • 14
    Text - maura quint @behindyourback the most interesting thing about being the mom of a 6 year old is knowing that I'm way too old to be cast the mom of a teenager in any primetime tv show 6:40 pm 7 Nov 2019 Twitter Web App
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  • 15
    Text - ÇalliopeMoon @chellemybell22 Non parents: This silence is nice Parents: *hears nothing* where the fuck are the kids and what are they doing!?? 4:47 pm 7 Nov 2019 Twitter for Android 41 Retweets 171 Likes
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  • 16
    Text - Richard Dean @dad_on_my_feet At bedtime our 3yo cried because his stuffed "buddy" was missing, so I heroically retrieved it. The fact that he then began screaming for a completely DIFFERENT toy is why I'm currently drinking all the scotch 4:38 am 8 Nov 2019 Twitter for iPhone 380 Likes 38 Retweets
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