Divorced dad gets backlash from ex-wife for providing more than bare minimum for 14-year-old daughter in child support: “I’m making sure [she] has everything she needs”

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jul 28, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

Parents are always trying their best. Even if it seems like they're not, even if they seem riddled with malicious intent, cowardice, projection, or all of the above, what you're seeing and experiences is actually their best. I know it can be hard to believe when you watch them treat you poorly, or sabotage the relationship, but truly they're being their best selves. No parent is going into a situation and saying to themselves, "now let's make things worse just for fun." Despite the complicated relationships we have with our parents, we need to give them credit where credit is due. Forgiveness is always the best medicine to a bad thing. 
 

If you have divorced parents, there could be a lot of drama involved that has nothing to do with you. In the story below, the protagonist is a man who's divorced. As he's in financial responsibility of his teenage daughter, he wants her to have the best life, even if he sees her half the time. Read the full story below for all the juicy details. 

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  • 01

    AITA for making sure my daughter has everything she needs?

    Cheezburger Image 10535118592
    via vadimguzhva from Getty Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I have a child(F14) with my ex.
    via u/Extreme_Rip_6512

  • I understand that maybe this mother is triggered by her ex-husband, and him giving more than his child support may seem like some bold or condescending statement, but it's not. She needs to think about her daughter, instead of her ego. 

  • 03
    I was ordered to pay 1K a month in childsupport which is fine. I can afford it and I'll do anything for
    via u/Extreme_Rip_6512
  • 04
    my child. But the problem is, isn't this money supposed to be used on my Child? I don't feel like that's the case.
    via u/Extreme_Rip_6512
  • 05
    I don't understand why my child wears hand me downs or eats cheap c.y food.
    via u/Extreme_Rip_6512
  • 06
    So I've started sending extra stuff. Like on the days I know her mom can't give her a ride I'll get her taxi or I'll order food for her and
    via u/Extreme_Rip_6512
  • 07
    send it to their house on the nights she tells me her mom is making nuggets or something like that.
    via u/Extreme_Rip_6512
  • 08
    Well her mom thinks I'm an a and this is causing problems in her house. Now sure why that's my problem.
    via u/Extreme_Rip_6512
  • 09
    gringaellie ⚫ 11h ago Child support has to pay the child's living costs - which includes rent, utilities, water etc. It's not just the child's food and clothing.
    via u/gringaellie
  • 10
    • C... 13h ago • Edited 13h ago Buy her clothes and snacks and give her spending money when she is with you. $1k/mo doesn't go that far.
    via u/CozyCoco99
  • 11
    No_Grocery_1757 • 13h ago INFO What kind of conversations have you had with your ex regarding coparenting?
    via u/No_Grocery_1757
  • 12
    Would she be more agreeable if you got a small fridge for your daughter to keep healthier options in terms of snacks and food?
    via u/No_Grocery_1757
  • 13
    What if you supplied things like grilled nuggets options, a veggie tray and fruit tray. for your daughter to at least
    via u/No_Grocery_1757
  • 14
    have a healthier version of nuggets that isn't as distracting?
    via u/No_Grocery_1757
  • 15
    Your daughter is 14 now, is she allowed to make her own meals? Cooking is a life skill, so it would benefit her to learn regardless.
    via u/No_Grocery_1757
  • 16
    The same with laundry. Could she start doing her own laundry when at her mom's house?
    via u/No_Grocery_1757
  • 17
    I do get your concerns. But I think approaching this in a more constructive manner is what should be your first
    via u/No_Grocery_1757
  • 18
    DA FEDERAL RESERVE NOTE KB 90490962 H B2 CCDCD UNITED STATES OFAMERICA THIS NOTES LEGAL TENDER FOR ALL DEBTS PUBLIC AND PRIV han Cerber's Cabal M100TA FOR ALL DEBTS PUBLIC AND PRIVATE O 2006 MODTA KB 90490962 H 100 ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS ONE HUNDRED FOR ALL D PUBLIC Ann Lark's Sahal 100 100 1004
    via Billion Photos / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 19
    effort in making things work until other options are available.
    via u/No_Grocery_1757
  • 20
    Cheezburger Image 10535118848
    via Negative Space from Pexels / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 21
    You end your post with "not sure why that's my problem". It's your problem because it does involve your daughter. So, this is where
    via u/No_Grocery_1757
  • 22
    you take a step back and think about how you can approach this in a more collaborative way so that your daughter can feel
    via u/No_Grocery_1757
  • 23
    comfortable in both of her homes until the opportunity to change things presents itself.
    via u/No_Grocery_1757
  • 24
    The last thing you want to do is cause enough of an issue that it becomes you alienating your daughter from her mother. Which you
    via u/No_Grocery_1757
  • 25
    are on the track to do if you keep up the current overriding approach. That can be held against you.
    via u/No_Grocery_1757

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