Aaronn

'Watch this' is a common precursor to many accidents. Especially those involving skateboards and ...

don't squeeze a pimple so enthusastically that you bruise your face. you will have to explain it ...

When storing a bottle of water, never store it horizontally, half closed. Chances are it will spi...

If you are going home with a chick, make sure your car won't get towed by her apartment complex. ...

If you are just learning how to lucid dream, don't try to take control of a "naked in public" dre...

Hard Boiled eggs are not a good substitute for real eggs when making cookies. #LFMF

Mom: See my new ring I got for my anniversary? you have to buy your bitch new jewelery if you wan...

*After my mom finds out I have a girlfriend* Mom: Son, I'm happy you've found a nice young wom...

Mom: "If I sold you into slavery, I'd have to sell you as an art piece and not a utility."

Sister to Grandfather: You're Fat! Grandfather: I'm 75, I've earned the right to be fat.

Me: [Walks into the living room] I want waffles. Dad: WTF!?! Are you pregnant?!? Me: Uh, no... ...

Me: Mom, how would you take it if I turned out to be a lesbian? Mom (nonchalantly): I don't thin...

(looking at a smart car) Mom: It's like a golf cart, ON WHEELS