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(Mom and I talking about my moving out for college) Me: The best schools are away from here and ...

Me: Oh, f*ck... Mom: Dina! Watch your mouth! Grandma: Hey now...if she's old enough to do it, s...

Mom: would you like a sandwich? Me: yes Mom: well go to the kitchen and make it yourself. Me: ...

Dad: Don't tell anyone this but you're my favorite daughter. Me: I'm your only daughter!