Ariona90

Mom: Don't leave the Internet on while we go out, Viruses could get in!

Me: "Dad are you wearing mom's glasses?" Dad: "I don't think so why?" Me: "Well they have rhinest...

Mom: I'm not paranoid, I just don't trust anybody.

ME: I'm just a little angel. Dad (a pastor): So was Lucifer in the beginning

*mom calling the house phone* me: hello? mom: hi are you home??"

Mom: You are only in trouble if they scream.

(talking about my daughter) dad:is she retarded? me:dad! why would you think that? dad:she loo...

(After comeing home from a week long trip) Me: Mom, were is my fish? Mom: Fish? Oh, we ate it f...

DAD: I used to work at the restaurant over there as a elevator attendant. ME: Cool! Was it fun? ...

Me: I can't stand this weather. I should have gone to college in New Mexico. Mom: Then you co...

Mom (Standing up from kneeling and cleaning) : Enjoy spending as much time on your knees as you c...

Step-mom: "This rolling pin isn't registered, don't push your luck with me kid" Me:... I just wa...

(looking out the window at my neighbor/ex-boyfriend's house) Mom: Honey, Matt's new girlfriend i...

Me: What did Dad want to name me? Mom: Stormy. But I told him no because, ya' know, the job opti...

Mum: Giving birth to your sister was the most painful experiance, yes. But you were painless. You...

Dad: You know, there's more people who have been to the moon than people who have seen Jesus pee.

My Brother: Should i teach my poke'mon protect? My mom: Is it going to have sex?

While my little bro is watching powerangers: Mom: the blue one is sonic, right.