Blutzucker

(Me and my Sister fighting in church) Dad: STOP THAT YOU'RE PISSING OFF GOD.

Me: Mom, I'm too old to give you a kiss goodbye! Mom: I pushed you out my vag! Now give me a kis...

Mom: Why would your cousin wear a strapless wedding dress when she has "69" tattooed on her chest...

(After grabbing a beer) Dad stops in the middle of the room, kicks forward, then back, spins arou...