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While on vicodin, stay well aware of your surroundings. The reason you are not wearing a seatbelt...

If your foot has completely gone to sleep you may think it'll be funny to see how difficult it is...

If you show mercy to the big grasshopper in your big garden, and don't kill him with the scissors...

If you decide to take your Nintendo DS in the bathroom with you while you do your business, MAKE ...

No matter how hard--or how many times--you try, you just cannot get money from an ATM using your ...

When in doubt, don't eat the cheese. #LFMF

NEVER talk/gossip about someone to your friend in the bathroom. the person you are talking about ...

Don't declare on a social networking site that you think childbirth and newborn babies are not be...

If you're in the locker room after gym class, never offer help to a friend to untie a knot in the...

If your girlfriend recently had throat surgery and it starts to hemorrhage, when calling 911 sayi...

If you find a random screw sitting on your bathroom floor one morning, don't assume it's not impo...

When explaining to people why you are a Grammar Nazi, make sure the table of people you are speak...

If it's hailing, don't ride a motorcycle. It really hurts. #LFMF

If you're a security guard on your first shift at a new site, don't spend the day reading 100+ pa...