DeviousxFright

Never assume pedobear is a cute, harmless bear and set it as your Facebook picture. #LFMF

running from the backyard down a steep incline into the house: FUN. forgetting that there's a sli...

If you wear heavy rings and tend to talk with your hands, don't end up telling a story that inclu...

When you are cleaning up the basement, be sure the gray lump drifting in the bucket is a cleaning...

Never try to separate Lego pieces using an exacto knife. There will be blood. #LFMF

Remember to spell things right. Otherwise, it will ruin your life. "I'm in Paris. I wish you were...

When your mother calls you a "son of a bitch" during an argument, don't try to be smart and point...

Eyeing the neighbor's bikini-wearing wife while you're jogging: awesome. Being so distracted you ...

When walking home after a rough day, do not immediately turn to the guy in the car beeping at you...

When you're a pastor of a church, and you're sending your statistical information for the previou...

When you see a buddy with his new baby, never say, "Wow, he's cute, he looks nothing like you!" T...

While on your way to a fancy dress party, dressed as Freddy Krueger, resist the urge to scare chi...

If your siblings don't talk to your mother because shes crazy, and none of her family talks to he...

Don't ever tell your parents that the doctor told you to masturbate to "alleviate pain" in a cert...

When buying large amounts of ammo on valentines day for the date you have planned (some girls lik...

Before baking six dozen peanut butter fudge cookies for your sister's wedding, remember that one ...