Droez0r

Husband: Which seat can I taaa~ke? 3 Year Old Daughter: The one that is open. Just sit down.

(At the bar with my parents on my 21st birthday) Me: I don't know what to order. Mom: What do y...

Me: Mom, what would you do if I told you I smoked marijuana at one time in my life? Mom: Wait YO...

(Mom in the kitchen talking to our 14 yr old cat) Mom: Quit telling me you're hungry. Why didn't...

My niece to her mother at the age of 11: Mom, when am I finally going to start developing? Aunti...

(At an IKEA looking for a bed, overhearing another family) Daughter: I like this one Mom:(shake...

(I was pretending to beat up my Dad) Me: *jabs Dad in the side* Dad: Ow! That was my fallopian ...

As my mom is talking to some religious people in the doorway, she yells into the living room: "Ho...

Mom: What is this, chicken? Me: No, it's turkey. Mom: What about Stargate?

Uncle: Hey, knock-knock. Me: ...Who's there? Uncle: Go f**k yourself.

(While talking to my parents before a business trip to New Orleans) Mom: Don't forget to bring h...

My dad is on the phone with a telemarketer. Mid sentence, he cuts him off: "I'm terribly sorry, b...

Me: Mom I'm an atheist. Mom: It's alright if you're gay, I'll still love you

Dad: The Mother-in-law just died. Shop Assistant: Jesus... Your luck must be in! Dad: Yeah! Giv...

(Mum is eating expensive chocolate I gave her) Me: Suck it , don't just chew it. Mum: that's wh...

*Shopping together* Mom: Sometimes adults live through kids. Me: And you prefer to live through...

Mom: Gay and straight are normal. Bi-sexual people are just horny, and it's not normal.