Emokittiy16

There is no way to make it seem bad-a$$ that you broke your knee while playing badminton in gym c...

While it is amusing to have "c*ck drawing" battles with your pals (Where you draw as many c*cks a...

If your elbow accidentally knocks over a potted plant, think for a moment before whirling around ...

Bad: Making grilled cheese by laying the toaster sideways, like it was suggested on memebase. It ...

The garlic sauce containers that comes with pizza feel a lot like creamer containers. Double che...

I was discussing how gross "morning breath" is with one of my friends. I described how it feels l...

What I meant to text: "he has two pet Russian tortoises in his backyard." What I actually texted...

I typed 1-800 instead of 1-888 when trying to activate a cable box by phone. Instead of Comcast, ...

I got into a religious argument. #LFMF

When driving down a road at night and you are being tailgated for going 10 over, do not proceed t...

When on a date with a guy, make sure he's not sqeamish before you watch a horror movie. He will p...

If your child doesn't want to go upstairs to the changing table despite the terrible smell coming...

If your dog is wet coming in from the yard on a dry day, make sure there isn't a very chewed up s...

When working at an amusement park for Halloween that does a scary Halloween thing don't mention t...

If you wear a helmet for anything, always check it before putting it on. Otherwise, your head wil...

Don't watch a crime show when you're home alone. They will be discussing a psycho who watched his...

If you have a 13 year old son who inherited his sense of humor from you he may have a conversatio...

When walking around Walmart for groceries and you notice the girl in front of you has short short...

When two guys start fighting, it's a good idea to try to get between them and pull them apart. W...

When using a heavy-duty stapler at the office, don't perch it on the edge of the table. The stapl...

The bowl your take-out food came in is microwave safe. The small cup your sauce came in is not. ...

ALWAYS make sure you know the difference between the glue stick and the chap stick before applyin...

If you are in a rush, and you know your teacher doesn't look closely at your homework sometimes m...

Never accompany your girlfriend to get the Morning After Pill. The pharmacist will think you bull...

When leaving your seat to go to the loo on an aircraft remember to remove headphones to avoid hav...

When suffering from insomnia and are at the point of exhaustion where basic mental faculties have...

Never put your fruit punch Gatorade at bottom of your shopping cart. When you're exiting the sto...

Good idea: Listen to music when in shower. Bad idea: Dance to the music when in shower.You will...

"Embarasada" is not the word for embarrassed in Spanish. Saying that you are very pregnant will b...

If you routinely keep praying mantis' as pets, understand that when pissed off, they DO have the ...