F_ckit

Me: Mom, what did you do for fun as a kid? Mom: Weed. Me: Are you encouraging me to smoke a...

Mom: We should hide our condoms somewhere else. Your son has been stealing them. Dad: What? At...

Dad: "You know how to deal with stress don't you? Just like a dog.. piss all over the place and t...

Me: Hey, mom, I was thinking... Mom: Stop doing that.

Me: Mom, what is your new medication for? Mom: It's an anti-psychotic. Me: Did you just take it...