FlyinBoa

(I gave one too many one dollar bills to the guy at the grocery store) Me: GOD I suck at countin...

(Testing the waters to tell my mom that I'm bisexual) Me: You know, women are much nicer to look...

Me: I'm craving something fruity... Mom: Where's your boyfriend?

Grandma: You know how some people don't like clowns and think they're scary? Me: Yeah... Grand...

Mom: Is this a reality TV show? Dad: No, it' Transformers.

Dad: I'M BREWING MY MAGICAL MIST! *slams door* Mom: He means the Lime-Aid he put in the freezer.

Dad: What's that one game everyone's playing? Dead Cats? Mom: ...Angry Birds? Dad: Yeah, that.

Me:(afer mom told me something unbelievable) Really?! Mom: Would I shizzle your nizzle?

Me: (looking at arm) Man, why do I always have so many cuts on my arms? Mom: Probably because I ...