JennyAnn

Tried to log onto CIA website. Computer shut down. Sheer panic. Turns out cable fell out. #LFMF

When two guys start fighting, it's a good idea to try to get between them and pull them apart. W...

Dad: Vegetables? That's what food eats.

(While sleeping on the sofa my mom sticks a grape in my ear.) Me: Why did you stick a god damned...

Microwave cooks: chicken balls may be virtually indestructible, but salmon WILL explode like some...

(Im trying on clothes) Mom: No, that's too sexy. Boys will want to have butt sex with you. Me: ...