Kaitex130

Grandma: You know how some people don't like clowns and think they're scary? Me: Yeah... Grand...

Dad: I'M BREWING MY MAGICAL MIST! *slams door* Mom: He means the Lime-Aid he put in the freezer.

Dad: I think I was a Catholic priest in a past life. I now demand you refer to me as 'your holine...

(On my sister's 10th birthday, supper was taking forever to cook.) Sister: *whining* But Mooomm,...

Mom: You know I hate glitter. Glitter is the herpes of the craft world.

(Me and my Dad talking about car crashes.) Dad: Only your mother has hit unmoving objects. Me: ...

Mom: How do these people get in the magazine if they've only lost 15 pounds? It's stupid. Mom's ...

(Telling my mom about a boy I'm talking to on the internet.) Mom: Did you tell him you're home s...

Dad: No, don't cross in front of the cheap car. At least cross in front of the Mercedes, so if th...

Dad: (every time he's at a service counter) I'd like to trade in this child for a small farm anim...

Mom (helping me study for confirmation): What questions do we ask ourselves before taking communi...

Mom: That's why we have kids. You appreciated my humor when you were little. Ten years later, y...

Friend: I thought to much salt was bad for you. Grandpa: Life is bad for you. Incurable, sexuall...

Younger Sister: Why are your notes on the Spanish Inquisition titled "The Spanish Inquisition is ...

Me: Hey dad, could you help me with the periodic table of elements? Dad: Oh sure, I have that me...

(As my boyfriend and I are going out to his car one evening. Note: I'm a guy.) Dad: USE PROTECTI...

My mom, talking about my boyfriend who wears super-skinny jeans. Mom: You can date him. Me: Wh...

Dad: When I was in highschool, all the kids from the Catholic and public schools would get togeth...

(on vacation in Mexico) Dad: Why is everyone speaking Spanish here? Mom: Get out of my car.