Keanelover12893

(Dad is driving me and a friend home after getting ice cream) Friend: I have sprinkles stuck in ...

Grandma: (trying to remember her high school fight song) ...You bring the whiskey and I'll bring ...

*Nobody has spoken a word and we are all eating lunch* Grandma: And that's another nice thing ...

Mom: You know, you do take after your dad. But it's all the bad stuff. Quit it.

(When talking about doing research for a project for choir) Me: I'm sorry, I don't stalk my favo...

*at a Fire Dept. Station for a field trip* Little Brother: Mommy! Let's ride the firetruck! Mom...

(dad storms into house) Dad: Well, at least I never f*cked a penguin!

Dad (after being 'hushed'): I do not obey the platypus of silence!

My cousin, who lives with my grandma, came home with a blue mohawk. Grandma: That's very nice de...

(me, heading to the circus) Me:Ok, I'm leaving for the circus, bye. Mom:Don't molest any clown...

Mom: You're sucking the life out of me! Me: You're sucking the life out of yourself! Mom: If I ...

Dad: "Cats are like velcro."

mom: dont ask me! i wasnt there when you where born. me: mom... you gave birth to me. mom: you ...