LawlUrSoFunny

Dad: "My hearing is getting worse even though I'm going to the gym three times a week."

Mom: My nose is cold... I need a nose mitten!

Me: Why don't you make me zucchini bread? Mom: Why don't you shut up?

Me: What's the mentalist? Dad: It's what you're going to be in a second if you don't shut up!

Dad: Rusty's coming today. Me: Who's he? Dad: The Fridge Repair man. Me: Why is he coming? Da...

(Talking about who I'll marry) Dad: I'll accept any race, religion, and even gender but I draw t...

Me: I can't believe that you didn't know the Sun was the largest thing in the solar system! Didn'...

My dad trying to navigate his new iPad:Lower the volume on that damn tv! I can't hear what I'm re...

Me: Dad, stop being a douchebag. Mom: He's not even a bag. He's just spilling all over the floor.