LaytonxClaire

if you have surgery to repair a tendon in your wrist after a drunken accident, and are in a splin...

When the Dr says to mix the fiber laxative with your normal breakfast drink, he doesn't know that...

When you're a the designated photographer at your family's holiday party and you need to make a l...

A book is a great place to leave a love note for your significant other. Just make sure that if y...

If you are going to sit in the back of a boring class and think you can get away with watching po...

When speaking of spending time with your sisters, the correct term is bonding. Do not speak of "S...

When visiting the gynecologist, never agree to let a med student observe. You WILL end up with t...

When taking amusing photo's of your pets remember to hide the sex toys. Those 5 minutes it was on...

When informed of the waiting period on guns at walmart; it is NOT infact witty to reply asking wh...

When leaving a fitting room with a three-sided mirror, always make sure you are heading out the a...

If you're blowing bubbles with a 6 year old you should find out what they use to "kill" the bubbl...

They say it is impossible to sneeze and keep your eyes open at the same time. It is, however, ent...

After working on your community flower bed, remember to take the trash bags of weeds and clipping...

Always take into consideration that kittens, much like humans, will have a full bladder when they...

Yes, the safety meeting is mandatory before the cruise. Yes, the staff check rooms to make sure n...

When running to open a door, make sure you have time to actually turn the knob. #LFMF

If you happen to be out of, er, 'personal lubricant' when things are getting hot & heavy, do not ...

If your wife comes home and asks you where the children are, the correct response is not 'I don't...

If you ask your nine year old daughter to demonstrate what she learned in her karate class, don't...

You've put on a shirt thousands of times. You've walked down the stairs thousands of times. Doing...

When hiring a clown for your three year olds birthday party, first check to be sure he dosen't ha...

When your youngest male co-worker severely overestimates your 4 inch high heels as being "Like, 7...

If your cat sits in the bathroom and lets out pathetic meows from time to time, do not assume tha...

If the cat doesn't want to eat the odd smelling bacon you are offering her, don't assume she is b...

If your little sister wants curly hair, do not show her how to curl ribbons with scissors. #LFMF

If you find a dead carpenter bee in the garage and take it in the house so the kids can see it up...

When the family dog dies from a heart attack during winter months and only cremation is possible,...

When rooming with two other guys on a class trip, don't leave your journal out. And, yes, it will...

Never, NEVER try to push a glow stick to its breaking point. It WILL rupture and squirt into your...

If you are a girl with big boobs and a few guys on a party ask you; "Can you let your elbows touc...