Lola2003

Friend: I thought to much salt was bad for you. Grandpa: Life is bad for you. Incurable, sexuall...

Me: Yeah, Mum, Daniel's in Romania. Mum: What is he doing, hunting dragons?

Mom: Know what happens when you assume? Me: What? Mom: You make an ass out of you. Me: Isn't t...

(As my boyfriend and I are going out to his car one evening. Note: I'm a guy.) Dad: USE PROTECTI...

My mom, talking about my boyfriend who wears super-skinny jeans. Mom: You can date him. Me: Wh...

Me: Why name your baby Ursula? It's a horrible name.. Brother: Well, whoever gets that name woul...

(I came into the kitchen without my dad noticing me) Dad: *Turns around* Oh! Where the hell did ...

(Handing a fork to my dad while making fajitas) Dad: (slaps me with a tortilla) The fajitas defy...