LuciferLight

Brother: Hey Dad, when you die you can play guitar with Jimi Hendrix... Mum: and Jesus Dad: Don...

(With my mom in a toy shop) Me: Hey mom, watch this! *puts on a Darth Vader helmet* Luke, I am y...

While talking about people who go to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings... Grandma: And that's why ...

(Talking about Judgment Day) Me: Well, a lot of Catholics believe that animals don’t have souls....

Never give your girlfriend your phone to respond to a text message while you are driving. She wil...

(Watching the news) Mum: I wish we could have some nice news for once. Like, we turn on the TV a...

Stepmom: (talking to my sister) You better behave or I'll have your sister sit on you! Me: (Joki...

Dad: Did you just type the word 'sodomy'? Me: Yes Dad: Why Me: You were in prison, you should ...

(While my dad is in the ICU after a heart attack) Mom: The doctor says your heart rate is too lo...

Our neighbour's 9-year-old granddaughter: I need to go, Spider-man 2 is on tonight. Dad: Don't y...