Missybeautimus

When a girl you find beautiful is talking to you, don't space out. She won't try talking to you a...

If you are environmentally-conscious, and often wipe your nose and your bum with the same piece o...

Don't ever let your friends blindfold you. EVER. #LFMF

When you're tired, avoid thinking of very sad things. You will burst into tears, you will come ho...

It's hard enough to use a public restroom when you're a germophobe, but especially when you use i...

When a girl is confessing her love for you and she asks if she has made you uncomfortable, "sorry...

When your 2-year-old proudly announces he can open the syrup bottle, do not turn your back on him...

Wanting to go drink and meet women is not a valid reason to ask your Sergeant to change your work...

When working with meat slicers, you're given special gloves to wear. They may be uncomfortable, b...

Humane mouse traps cease to be humane when you forget to check the traps. #LFMF

When someone politely asks you to get something for them, before saying 'get it yourself' and 'wh...

If you love Nutella, but your sister hasn't tried any, don't let her try any. She will adore it a...

Never watch Anthony Bourdain when you have the flu. The episode you happen to catch will feature...

If it's Memorial Day and you have to go to work, see about using someone else's car not your old ...

There might come a time that after a long day at work you will wait for a train and a girl will s...

When trying a new sleeping tablet it is best to go to bed first. Or you will end up sitting in a ...

Do not go hiking in uncomfortable steel toe work boots for 5 miles. The resulting blisters will b...

When trying to make an egg sandwich because there's nothing else to eat. Keep in mind that the eg...

If you usually wear your glasses to dye your hair, continue to do so. You will flick pink dye int...

When wearing a new tie and a thread unravels. Do not twist said thread around your finger thinki...

Pouring salt and vinegar into a bag of potato chips does not make it taste like Salt and Vinegar ...

I went to memebase and saw LFMF. "Haven't been there in a while. I'll read just one page, shouldn...

When cooking breakfast, remember which mug you put the egg in and which has the cold Sprite. Pour...

When riding Pirates of the Caribbean don't exclaim "There is no WiFi" once you have gone into the...

You may have had a bad crick in your neck since you woke up. You may have also had too much coffe...

Before buying that dog toy, remember that your dog sleeps on your bed, and likes to bring his toy...

Take the extra two seconds to close your door all the way when going to bed. Cats love to cuddle...

If you're lying on top of your boyfriend and he goes to move you, don't put your arms out like wi...

When playing Apples to Apples, if you don't know who a rather popular actor/actress is don't ment...

Finishing sentences is important. "The most emotional people I know don't wear clothes to express...