MossfireTC

If you go to Six Flags with your girlfriend, never - meaning NEVER - attempt to kiss inside the D...

Do not smack-talk a mosquito while swatting at it. It will fly into your mouth for "safety". #LFMF

Turns out those snappers that pop when you throw them at the ground leave traces of explosives on...

Be wary of cats. They may try to lay on your face and suffocate you in your sleep. #LFMF

NEVER ever NEVER EVER leave your favorite album at the house of a boyfriend. You will break up an...

When your boyfriend is staying over and you wake up during the night to the sound of a man breath...

If you're going to watch a horror movie to kill time, don't do it while painting. The scary supri...

If you work in Hospitality and have just gotten your nipples pierced, don't go to work the next d...

Dont build your wasp nest in my charcoal grill. I have lighter fluid, matches, and a near sadist...

If you are a parent and have a five year old kid that wants to be a chef....please make sure his ...

When your 6 year old brother, who loves pickles, holds up a jar of pickled Pepperoncini peppers a...

Nursing home residents take their Bingo very seriously. Never cancel Bingo no matter what - act ...

Good phrasing: "I like being challenged intellectually" Bad phrasing: "I like being mentally cha...

You know your super cool uncle who always gets you the best presents on your B-day? He was diagno...

After having a Vasectomy, listen to the doctor and don't pick up ANYTHING. Because trying to be h...

While cleaning your bedroom, it may be tempting to put on the super huge cybergoth boots you foun...

The correct wording is "I like short women," not "I like little girls." #LFMF

When you wake up to go pee at 3 am, remember your mom put something in your toliet that makes the...

If the cute guy you've been hitting on for months assumes you're a lesbian because of the extreme...

If you have a new pair of gym shorts with built in underwear, your mom will try to convince you t...