NightWorldGrl

(I'd just seen a movie with my mom, and we were talking about the actors.) Mom: Yeah, that's th...

(My mom, while looking at the price of caviar this year.) Mom: WHAT?! you can get COCAINE cheape...

Mom: OK: No drugs, no alcohol, no sex and no boys. Dad: Basically we want you to have a sh**ty t...

(After a family party. Aunt and Uncle are getting ready to leave and are picking up left overs.) ...

(After my 4-year-old got in trouble she came up to her father.) 4yr old: Am I on the naughty lis...

(Me and mom making dinner, brother's ferret starts running around our feet): Mom: Put him in the...

(I just met my new step-brother 2 hours ago at my dad's house. We're both mid 20's adults. Dad an...

(Me: *Skyping cute boy*) Mom: *Barges into room* Who are you talking to? Me: Travis, mum. Mom:...

Me: I'm going to discipline my kids better when I have them. I'm going to lock them in a closet. ...

(My mom and I discussing school projects) Me: Essay projects are one of the few school projects ...

(Six year old sister runs up behind me, pours glitter on me, and pushes me out the door into the ...

Mom: Is it true your sister smokes weed? Me: Yeah. Duh. Mom: What problems could a fifteen-year...

Me: Dad, I can't remember what RNA is! Dad: Remember, RNA is sort of like an aggressive date. ...

Me (on phone): Hi mom, I'm just calling to let you know I survived the dorm fire. Mom: WHAT? Me...