OMGLOLZ1995

*Jehovah Witnesses knock on the door* Mom: *opens the door and is about to close it* Jehovah Wi...

Mom: It's not a lazy eye, the other one is just an over achiever

Mom (before my dad had surgery): It says here that you can only have clear liquids after midnight...

Dad: Did you drink some root beer? Me: No we don't have any. Dad: Root beer does not like excus...

Mom: I'm bored with eating Me: What? Mom: I'm just bored with the act of eating. Me: So stop e...

Sister: Did someone just call me an idiot? Grandma: No, but we're all thinking it.

My dad is white and my mom is black, and I was wearing a striped shirt that day Dad: "You look l...

Me: I feel like my head is going to explode! Mom: Alright, as long as you clean up afterwards. ...