The latest from Outai
Take your new girlfriend seriously when she explains she has a high sex drive and actually worn out past boyfriends. 8 months in to the relationship we have sex 2-3 times a day and the other 3-4 times she jumps me I have to turn her down from exhaustion. More times than not I wake up to her giving me h-jobs in her sleep. #LFMF
Pay attention to what the MS Word spell checker is doing. Failing to do so will cause you to turn in a paper claiming that the streets will be littered with prostates if sex work is legalized. Your teacher will laugh. Your teacher will also share that goof with his colleagues. For the rest of his career. #LFMF
When watching "Alien" alone in the dark, know the cat's exact location at all times. #LFMF
Working in a hospital for many years conditions you to respond automatically to certain words. I realized that when I went to the grocery store and heard the over the intercom calling a code 10 (need a manager up front). My brain translated that to a code blue...and I automatically started looking for the crash cart. #LFMF
Correct: "Mom, Dad just bought the wood to build shelves for the kitchen!" Incorrect: "Mom, Dad's got wood!" #LFMF
