QueenDusk

Mom: I love you. Me: Aw, thanks Mom. Mom: Sorry, I was talking to the dog. No one loves you.

Mom: i had the most awesome dream ever last night Me: really what was it about? Mom: you were never born

Me: Hey Dad, look at that sign. It's upside down! Dad: Yeah, I guess that means watch out for falling deer.

Stranger: Oh, you two had twins? Dad: I had a coupon!

Me (to brother): You're so handsome and smart! Brother: Stop it! Mom, make her stop! Mom: Stop teasing your brother. Me: Fine. You're an ugly freak. Mom: That's better. Now tell your sister 'thank you' for saying such nice things.