parents
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Mom: I know a lot about Zelda and Mario! Me: Who's the main villain of Zelda? Mom: THAT TINY FR...
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Dad: "Just remember the rule of three, you'll die three minutes without oxygen, three days withou...
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Dad: You know what the most important thing I learned in college was? Me: Study hard? Dad: Haha...
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Stepmom: Drugs are not the answer, and if you were still on your Paxil you would realize that.
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Mom: Everything is better in moderation. Except crack.
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(Talking about who I'll marry) Dad: I'll accept any race, religion, and even gender but I draw t...
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Me: I can handle being a vet, mom! Mom: I don't know... do you really think you can pull a cow o...
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Dad: Where are you going tonight Me: Jamies house, he's having a party Dad: Okay, but remem...
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Me: Oh, f*ck... Mom: Dina! Watch your mouth! Grandma: Hey now...if she's old enough to do it, s...
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(while playing mario donkey kong game) Dad: why are they wasting good beer? Me:? Huh? What beer...
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*sister walks in with new boyfriend who is in a band* grandfather (to me): she only knows one g-...
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Sister just woke up from having her tonsils removed and started talking. Dad: Should she be talk...
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Mom:(I had just come out to her as gay) Okay, that's fine, and I want you to know I still love yo...
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Me: Maybe I should just drop out and be a prostitute Dad: Yeah, you'll get really rich doing tha...
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(At a parade, where a school called Highland High School marches past) Mom: How can they all be ...
