*my boyfriend and I are making red frosting for zombie cookies* Mom: I can get you some real hum...
Me: Mom! What're you doing with my phone!? Mom: Deleting all the dirty joke texts from your frie...
Mom: WHAT?!?! I CANT HEAR YOU! IT'S TOO DARK IN HERE!
Me: Is that a purple Disney princess band aid? Dad: Yeah! Don't be a hater!