Snorlaxx

(before going to the pool with a friend) Dad: by mags! remember the buddy rule! Me:what's the b...

If you're a chunky girl, and you lock your keys in your house, do NOT assume you will fit through...

When you have a presentation early in the morning, make sure nobody has changed the background of...

When your wife asks you, "If I had one day left to live, how would we spend it?" Buying up all th...

Don't fill a pinata with red candy that can melt, unless you like allot of crying children. #LFMF

A girl I had a crush on told me she had fled Serbia as a child to escape the violence. "Oh, cool....

When trying to seductively stroke your wifes face in the dark bedroom, make sure you know where h...

No matter how good the new bubblegum air freshener smells in the bathroom at work, never walk up ...

If your mom asks "What is 'headbanging'", don't show her in the bathroom. The sink is hard and th...

Learn some history BEFORE you go to a funeral. The phrase 'glory hole' was originally a nautical ...

No matter how hard you scrub the glass door with Windex, the dirt on the other side will not come...

Dentist, not Dentits. Especially not on the company medical claim form. #LFMF