The latest from TarawrasaurusRex
During Sexual Ed class, never, EVER reach down your pants to fix your underwear. You might just happen to be doing so during a presentation on giving birth. You WILL look like you're rubbing one off to it and you will never live it down. #LFMF
If a guy turns you down because he already has a date for that evening, don't ask how the date went. There is a large probability that he will looked confused because he lied to you and forgot. You will be angry. He will be embarrassed. #LFMF
When lecturing Human Biology students on male reproduction never say "Ok, getting onto erections"; this isn't a practical class, perhaps you should say "so moving on to discuss the physiology of erections". #LFMF
Right: "Dad, I've just bought a new wide angle lens, it captures much more of the scenery than your 35mm 1.4 Elmarit" Wrong: (with a big, proud grin)"Dad, mine's much shorter than yours" #LFMF
Never propose during sex. You can't be sure the 'oh yes!' you got was answer to your proposal. Actually it probably wasn't and it'll be awkward in the morning. #LFMF
That pretty girl across the room that looks kinda like your sister? Yeah, you're drunk. That is your sister. Asking her out on a date will only make things extremely awkward. #LFMF
If you find a blood stain on the jiu jitsu mat, before you start explaining about how bad your period is this month, you might want to check if you didn't accidentally scratched your fighting partner, which caused him to bleed on the mat. #LFMF
If you work at a pet grooming salon, the correct response to a customer is "Your puppy is being blow-dried; could you come back in ten minutes?" NOT "We're going to blow your dog for ten more minutes." #LFMF
Don't add your parents on Facebook. They will scold you for every post you make rated above PG. Also, now with the new feed in the right corner, they can see my comments, as well. #LFMF
Good idea: burning a mix of romantic songs to send to a crush who lives in another city before she comes out to visit you. Questionable idea: including a second CD with humorous songs on it. Bad idea: deciding to doubleshot Alice Cooper's "Feed my Frankenstein" and Pinkard & Bowden's "Friends in Crawlspaces" on said humor CD. Her friends will be utterly convinced that you're a serial killer. #LFMF
If you are a forgetful college prof, it is correct to say, "I've managed to remember a couple more of my first-year students' names". Do not say, "I've managed to nail a couple more of my first-years." #LFMF
If while going through your elderly father's old comfy sweaters you happen on an old file folder labeled "Do Not Open," don't open it. It may be porn of the tranny/fetish variety. #LFMF
When considering naming that hot female character from your new videogame after your girlfriend, resist the urge. If you do it, you WILL break up with her and spend the entire game wishing ahw would just die already...#LFMF
