The latest from Veggieburgers
If you are a girl with rather large breasts and a guy accuses you of stuffing, don't shout "PROVE IT!" #LFMF
Never try to impress your friends parents by telling them you go commando every Tuesday. #LFMF
When your cat gets sprayed by a stinkbug, don't pick your cat up to smell it, you will throw up...all over your cat. #LFMF
Pb is the chemical abbreviation for lead, not Publibdenum. The chemistry teacher will never forget you. #LFMF
If you like sleeping without any pj bottoms on, never wear a thong at night. Your dorm will have a fire drill at 2am and you'll fall out of bed trying to cover yourself before your roommate sees. And you'll freeze while standing outside. #LFMF
When you try to be funny and suction cup eraser caps onto your face, think about it before you do. They WILL stick there, and when they come off, you WILL have bruises that look like small hickies all over your face right before you go on a important business trip. #LFMF
When both of your parents are driving separately somewhere, be wise about which one you choose to ride home with. For example, you may choose your dad, only to figure out that your mom just left with your dad's keys. And her phone isn't on. Waiting another two hours for her to get home and see your message isn't pleasant. #LFMF
If you see 2 electrical wires, don't hold them together to figure out if there is a current running through. the Result will be shocking! #LFMF
If your car's tires can't handle the ice without slipping and sliding, your sneakers probably can't either. #LFMF
Never try out a machette on a small tree in Thailand when your parents are away for a second, you WILL lose a piece of your thumb, AND their trust. #LFMF
Make sure your mom is aware that pot can be incorporated into baked goods. Especially if she's a housekeeper and cleans a college student's appartment. After a long day of work, she will eat that "homemade chocolate cake" she found in the freezer. She will be high as a kite and not know what's wrong. She will call 911 and paramedics will laugh. She will then end up in the hospital and be fine, although extremely hungry. #LFMF
