Veggieburgers

If you are a girl with rather large breasts and a guy accuses you of stuffing, don't shout "PROVE...

Never try to impress your friends parents by telling them you go commando every Tuesday. #LFMF

When your cat gets sprayed by a stinkbug, don't pick your cat up to smell it, you will throw up.....

Pb is the chemical abbreviation for lead, not Publibdenum. The chemistry teacher will never forge...

If you like sleeping without any pj bottoms on, never wear a thong at night. Your dorm will have ...

When you try to be funny and suction cup eraser caps onto your face, think about it before you do...

When both of your parents are driving separately somewhere, be wise about which one you choose to...

If you see 2 electrical wires, don't hold them together to figure out if there is a current runni...

If your car's tires can't handle the ice without slipping and sliding, your sneakers probably can...

Never try out a machette on a small tree in Thailand when your parents are away for a second, you...

Make sure your mom is aware that pot can be incorporated into baked goods. Especially if she's a ...

Before you resign yourself to the idea that your eyesight is failing, clean your windshield. And...

Don't drink fizzy drinks while reading LFMF. When you cover your mouth when you laugh to avoid sp...

A small black portable external hard drive and a coaster look very similar in a dark room, howeve...

If you decide to hock a loogie out of your car window, make sure the window is rolled down first....

If you dance when you hear music do not play any while in the shower. Dancing+soapy water equals...

Keep an eye on your mischievous daughter when visiting with family whose kids are all older. Poi...

You don't have to freak when you're talking to a friend and remember to check for your daughter's...

While your husband might appreciate you walking around the house with your top off because your n...

When you've recently texted your mom and your girlfriend, make sure you check to whom you're resp...

If you want to build a snowman bigger than the guy's across the street, remember that packed snow...

Check the size of the .pdf file before hitting "print". Or you will print off 160 pages of useles...

No matter how bad fast food makes you have to toot, resist this urge while sitting on the booth i...

When crossing the street to get to a friend, make sure that when she is waving, she's actually te...

When waterproofing your girlfriend's new boots, make sure the can you reached for was, in fact, t...

Always make sure your passport is valid before you book a flight and hotel in NY. #LFMF

Just because your winter coat has well-insulated pockets doesn't mean you don't need gloves. Whe...

Hiring your 82 year old dad who has alzheimers to do some household repairs with the hidden motiv...

Just because your car door can open with the press of a button does not mean that you can do the ...