Youmakemesick

(While watching 40-Year-Old Virgin with parents) Mom (to Dad): See, I saved you from that life! ...

Dad: You know, eventually, like in the next 3 or 5 years, screw it, I'm getting a didgeridoo.

Mom (pregnant with me): I'm going into labor! Dad: *dives to the floor with his hands held out u...

Parents returned home from buying burial plots. Dad: Do you know who bought the plot right next ...

Mum: Don't ever get married. Me: OK. Mum: Or have children. It will ruin your life. Me: ...ok....

(Talking about Judgment Day) Me: Well, a lot of Catholics believe that animals don’t have souls....